Wednesday 11 December 2019
In my dream, I was doing my medical elective at a hospital in New York, USA. Two of my friends were also doing their elective at the same location. That day was an off day for me, so I walked around to explore the area near the hospital. Meanwhile, my friends were at the hospital as they weren't having an off day.
I passed by a place where someone was selling virtual reality (VR) headsets. He let everyone try watching the New York battle scene of The Avengers (2012) movie using the VR headsets. The people who tried it commented that it felt so real. I wasn't interested in that so I walked away.
Out of sudden, I saw many alien ships appearing and they were firing missiles everywhere. I wondered why I could see all these when I didn't put on the VR headset. Later, I realised that it was a real alien invasion on New York! I started running for safety, and the people surrounding me did the same.
At that time, a military vehicle appeared and stopped right beside me. Someone got down the vehicle, and he looked so much like Nick Fury. He said that he was sent by Newcastle University to ensure my safety and told me to follow him in his vehicle which could withstand the alien missiles.
After getting on the vehicle, I asked the guy about my two friends at the hospital, to which he replied that his colleague would be retrieving them. He then drove the vehicle at high speed towards the nearest airport. He said that I had to fly out of USA as soon as possible, after which I would be safe because aliens don't attack anywhere outside of the USA.
Then, I realised that I had lost the backpack with my passport in it, probably when I was running for safety earlier. However, the guy told me not to worry about it, and he gave me a special pass which would enable me to leave USA even without my passport.
Before arriving at the airport, I began feeling very drowsy for unknown reasons. I felt that it might a mistake for me to trust this guy. Did he just let me breathe in some drugs that would alter my consciousness? Was he out to kidnap me? Soon, I lost my consciousness.
I then woke up from my dream.
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Thursday 28 November 2019
On 20 August 2019, the student group list for the 1st semester of Stage 5 2019/2020 was released. Unfortunately, I was placed in the same group with 3 other students who were also repeating Stage 5, which limited my opportunity to mix with students in the new batch. I wanted to be in a group where all of the students are from the new batch, but no group change was allowed.
Stage 5 2019/2020 of MBBS began on 27 August 2019. Back in Stage 5 2018/2019, I didn't perform well in some of the in-course MOSLER assessments. For Stage 5 2019/2020, I set myself an aim of passing every domain in all 6 in-course MOSLER's. I decided that before the Primary Care rotation, I would just focus on passing the first 3 in-course MOSLER's.
The in-course MOSLER for Women's Health was on 19 September 2019, while the in-course MOSLER for Child Health was on 9 October 2019. I managed to pass all domains in both in-course MOSLER's. Meanwhile, the Primary Care rotation was getting closer and closer, and I couldn't wait for it to arrive.
On 14 October 2019, it was the start of the Mental Health rotation. As a matter of fact, I failed one of the domains in the Mental Health in-course MOSLER during Stage 5 2018/2019 because of a silly mistake. I felt bad every time I thought about it. To redeem for that, I definitely wanted to pass all domains of the in-course MOSLER for Mental Health in Stage 5 2019/2020.
On 19 October 2019, out of my expectation, the lead informed me that my request regarding the grouping for Primary Care had been declined. I wouldn't get to be in the same group with those in the new batch, the opportunity vanished before it even arrived. I felt so sad and disappointed about that, and I had no mood to study anything. I was having symptoms of depression, which was ironic for it to happen during my Mental Health rotation.
But 2 days later, I suddenly came to the realisation about something. If I still don't study because of my sadness, I am going to fail the in-course MOSLER for Mental Health. In that case, I will never get to redeem for my failure in the Mental Health in-course MOSLER last year, and I won't be able to achieve my aim of passing all of the in-course MOSLER's this year.
No, I absolutely don't want that to happen! So, I told myself that no matter how sad I am, I mustn't let it affect my studies. I quickly resumed studying for the Mental Health in-course MOSLER. Thankfully, there aren't many topics in Mental Health so 2 days isn't too much of a disruption.
I also realised another thing. In my current group, there are also a few students from the new batch and they are very nice, so I can just get close to them. While that may not be as fun as being in a group where everyone is from the new batch, it would still be a great experience.
On 31 October 2019, it was the in-course MOSLER for Mental Health. This time, I made sure not to repeat the same mistake I made in the previous year. With that, I passed all domains of this in-course MOSLER successfully. What's even better was that I coincidentally got the same examiner as the previous year, thus enabling her to see my improvements.
On the next day 1 November 2019, the student group list for the 2nd semester was released unexpectedly, and it was the same as the 1st semester grouping. However, students were allowed to swap groups, as long as it was between those of the same gender and race. That gave me hope.
On 4 November 2019, it was the start of the Primary Care rotation. On 5 November 2019, my friend agreed to swap groups with me for the 2nd semester. It was no longer just hope, it had become the reality, and I couldn't be more grateful! I would get to be in the same group with those in the new batch from January 2020 onwards, and I was definitely looking forward to that.
On 20 November 2019, it was the Primary Care in-course MOSLER. I got an examiner who is quite strict, but I still passed all domains of this in-course MOSLER successfully. With that, I had fulfilled the requirements for an overall pass in the in-course MOSLER's for Stage 5 2019/2020. However, I wouldn't stop at that. I definitely want to pass all domains of the next 2 in-course MOSLER's as well.
I am so glad that I was able to overcome my sadness quickly enough. I learnt to see things in a different way, and eventually, I got rewarded in every way! The whole incident also made me a more mature person, which is helpful in establishing a good relationship with my friends in the new batch.
Monday 2 September 2019
My summer break is longer this year compared to the previous years. However, this is also my last long break in the entire MBBS course.
4 June 2019 (Tuesday):
- Completed the Stage 5 (2018/2019) End of Stage MOSLER
- Had dinner with my friend at Spiced Mala Hotpot, Bukit Indah
- Watched the replay of Apple WWDC 2019 Keynote
5 June 2019 (Wednesday):
- Had lunch with my friend at Ikar Fish Head Noodle Restaurant near EcoNest
6 June 2019 (Thursday) - 14 June 2019 (Friday):
- Spent some time at the NUMed IT cluster everyday
6 June 2019 (Thursday):
- Played PUBG with my friends
7 June 2019 (Friday):
- Watched X-Men: Dark Phoenix with my friend at TGV Cinema, AEON Bukit Indah
- Had lunch with my friend at Sizzling Stonegrill, AEON Bukit Indah
9 June 2019 (Sunday):
- Got kicked out from Dedarkroom clan in Clash of Clans
- Joined Prodetective clan in Clash of Clans
13 June 2019 (Thursday):
- Stage 5 (2018/2019) MBBS final results was released
- Passed the SBA and WriSkE with a score of 69.7% and 74.7% respectively
- Failed the End of Stage MOSLER, which meant failing Stage 5 as a whole and having to repeat Stage 5
- Met my friend at the NUMed IT cluster
15 June 2019 (Saturday):
- Moved out of EcoNest
- Went back to Subang Jaya
- Had dinner at Mr J Kitchen with my family
16 June 2019 (Sunday):
- Had dinner at Crazy Crabs with my family
17 June 2019 (Monday):
- Sent my Acer laptop for repair
- Had lunch at New York Steak Shack with my mother
21 June 2019 (Friday):
- Had dinner at Cor Blimey Café with my family
22 June 2019 (Saturday):
- Attended my mother's friend's birthday celebration
24 June 2019 (Monday):
- Had lunch at Thai Moment with my mother
25 June 2019 (Tuesday):
- Received my transcript for Stage 5 (2018/2019) MBBS
- Received written feedback for the End of Stage MOSLER
26 June 2019 (Wednesday):
- Had lunch at Village Park Restaurant with my mother
- Went back to Kulim
27 June 2019 (Thursday):
- Upgraded to Builder Hall 9 in Clash of Clans
7 July 2019 (Sunday):
- Went to AEON Mall, Bukit Mertajam with my family
10 July 2019 (Wednesday):
- Took the electric train service (ETS) back to Subang Jaya
11 July 2019 (Thursday):
- Had lunch at Carl's Junior with my mother
- Collected my Acer laptop
13 July 2019 (Saturday):
- Had lunch at Samy & Min Bak Kut Teh with my mother
17 July 2019 (Wednesday):
- Had dinner at Johor Mini Steamboat with my family
18 July 2019 (Thursday):
- Watched Thor: The Dark World
21 July 2019 (Sunday):
- Attended NUMed Congregation 2019
- Had lunch at George & Dragon Café with my father
24 July 2019 (Wednesday):
- Had dinner at Restoran Waneeda Tomyam with my family
25 July 2019 (Thursday):
- Had lunch at Nyonya Cendol Café, Main Place Mall with my mother
- Watched Spider-Man: Far From Home at TGV Cinema, Sunway Pyramid
- Had dinner at Texas Chicken, Sunway Pyramid
27 July 2019 (Saturday):
- Went to Da Men Mall with my family
31 July 2019 (Wednesday):
- Watched 傀儡姬 · 彼岸花
1 August 2019 (Thursday):
- Had lunch at Ben's with my family
- Submitted UKFP Eligibility application on Oriel
2 August 2019 (Friday):
- Bought a new iPad Air 3 at Machines, Main Place Mall
5 August 2019 (Monday):
- Got a cover and screen protector for my iPad Air 3
- Bought a Bluetooth keyboard and mouse
- Had dinner at Restoran Waneeda Tomyam with my family
6 August 2019 (Tuesday):
- Watched Thor: Ragnarok
7 August 2019 (Wednesday):
- Went back to Kulim
14 August 2019 (Wednesday):
- Went to Kulim Landmark Central with my family
- Received the NUMed offer of accommodation for 2019/2020
16 August 2019 (Friday):
- Took the ETS back to Subang Jaya
17 August 2019 (Saturday):
- Upgraded my iPad Air 3 to iPadOS 13 Beta
- Had dinner at Souled Out with my family
18 August 2019 (Sunday):
- Had lunch at Mr J Kitchen with my family
- Had dinner at Fatty Crab Restaurant with my family
19 August 2019 (Monday):
- My UKFP Eligibility application was approved
- Had dinner at Du Viet with my family
20 August 2019 (Tuesday):
- The student group list for the next semester was released
- Watched Spider-Man: Homecoming
21 August 2019 (Wednesday):
- Had lunch at Ben's with my family
23 August 2019 (Friday):
- Bought a new blazer
- Bought chocolate cake at Original Cake, Sunway Pyramid
- Watched 傀儡姬 1
24 August 2019 (Saturday):
- Had lunch at Malaysia Boleh Foodcourt, Four Seasons Place with my family
- Went to Terminal Bersepadu Selatan, Kuala Lumpur
- Had dinner at myBurgerLab Sunway with my family
25 August 2019 (Sunday):
- Returned to Johor Bahru
- Moved into EcoNest
26 August 2019 (Monday):
- NUMed replaced the Learning Support Environment (LSE) with the Medical Learning Environment (MLE) for all students
- Had lunch with my friend at S11 Kopitiam, Bukit Indah
27 August 2019 (Tuesday):
- Began Stage 5 (2019/2020) of MBBS at NUMed
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Saturday 17 August 2019
In May 2012, my mother bought herself an iPad 3. I took a look at it and was unimpressed with its user interface. Therefore, I had no interest in using that device. In January 2013, I started studying A Level at Taylor's College. There, many of my classmates had an iPad, and even the lecturers were using iPads in their teaching. I realised that the iPad is actually more useful than what I previously thought, but I still didn't like it, as I felt that it cannot compare with a real computer.
At that time, I had just upgraded my Acer laptop to Windows 8. The user interface of Windows 8 is specifically designed to work well with touchscreens, but it's not well suited for computers without touchscreen. As my Acer laptop doesn't have a touchscreen, I wasn't quite satisfied with the Windows 8 experience. To make matters worse, I accidentally damaged the laptop's hard drive when installing Windows 8, and my laptop became quite slow since then.
I had a Sony Ericsson Live with Walkman phone at that time. It was a terrible phone, with very limited storage and very bad performance. As a result, I couldn't use it for most computing tasks, and I had to use my Acer laptop most of the time. Later, I began to feel that my laptop was too bulky as it couldn't be carried around easily. I then realised that I needed a new computer. I wanted a touchscreen computer that is very portable, and tablet computers would meet this criteria.
I found many tablet computers running Windows 8 on the Internet. Among them, I was particularly interested in the Surface RT, which was made by Microsoft. The Surface RT ran Windows RT, a variant of Windows 8 that could only run Microsoft Office and apps from the Windows Store but not any other programs. However, it was lighter and had better battery life compared to other tablets running the full Windows 8.
The iPad is also a tablet computer. Many people on the Internet recommended getting the iPad instead of the Surface RT, mainly because the iPad had a lot more apps available. However, I still preferred the Surface RT as it has Microsoft Office, supports USB peripheral devices and allows 2 apps to be used side-by-side, unlike the iPad. I also didn't have a very good relationship with my Taylor's College friends at that time. Since many of them were using iPads, I wanted to be different from them by getting a Surface RT.
Before buying the Surface RT, I had to make sure that apps from the Windows Store would be sufficient for me. However, I found out that Windows Store apps had some limitations and that the Windows Store only had a small number and variety of apps, which could be a problem for me if I got the Surface RT. Later, I also discovered that the iPad had models with 4G LTE while the Surface RT didn't. 4G LTE would be useful as I could have internet access on the device no matter where I go.
An incident happened on 31 July 2013. After that, I became much closer to my Taylor's College friends. Unlike in the past, I no longer had the desire to be different from them. At that time, I started considering getting an iPad. In September 2013, Apple released iOS 7 and many of my friends upgraded their iPad pretty soon. I was really impressed with the new user interface of iOS 7. Since then, I decided that I would be getting an iPad. Although it can't replace my Acer laptop, it can be used for many computing tasks, which I felt was good enough.
On 19 December 2013, I bought the iPad Air 1 at Machines in Sunway Pyramid. The iPad Air 1 was the newest iPad at that time and it had iOS 7 pre-installed. I chose the silver, 32GB, WiFi + 4G LTE model. I got a SIM card for my iPad, and it had 3GB of mobile data every month. At that time, I just realised that 4G LTE is actually very fast. In fact, it's even faster than the UniFi WiFi at my house. Previously, I had always felt that mobile internet is slow because my Sony Ericsson Live with Walkman phone only supported 3G but not 4G LTE.
I installed many apps on my iPad Air 1. Its performance was great and I was very satisfied with it. A few days later, I bought a screen protector and a cover for it. The cover was designed to provide protection to the iPad in case it's dropped. I showed my friends in Taylor's College my iPad Air 1 and they were quite impressed with it, as all their iPads were of older models. They would borrow my iPad sometimes and I was always very willing to lend it to them. I would bring along my iPad Air 1 almost anywhere I went, and I was a proud owner of it.
I used my iPad's 4G LTE most of the time, even when I was in places that had WiFi. My iPad Air 1 also had the mobile hotspot function where I could share its 4G LTE with anyone else. Back then, many of my friends didn't have mobile data on their phones and iPads. Whenever we were outdoors, they would often ask me to turn on my iPad's hotspot and I was always very happy to do so. Despite that, I almost never used up my monthly 3GB of data.
My iPad Air 1 had some small problems. It would reboot itself randomly at times, which was a common bug with iOS 7. I had the belief that my iPad Air 1 was a very tough device so it would not get damaged easily. Consequently, I didn't handle it with great care. There were several occasions where I dropped it. Sometimes, my iPad Air 1 would fail to detect the SIM card after it was dropped, which could be fixed by removing and reinserting the SIM card.
When I first got my iPad, there was a Microsoft Office app for iPhones. It could also be installed on iPads, but it wouldn't run full screen, so the user experience wasn't good. In addition, it required a paid Office 365 subscription to use. Therefore, I opted to use iWork instead, and I felt that it was a good replacement for Microsoft Office. In March 2014, Microsoft Office apps specifically designed for iPads were released. The apps had many of the advanced features from the Windows version, but were still not free to use. Therefore, I continued using iWork.
In September 2014, Apple released iOS 8. I didn't want to upgrade my iPad initially, as I really liked iOS 7. Around that time, I bought a new HTC One E8 phone. Although I really liked iOS on my iPad, I felt that the user interface of iOS is not well suited for phones, so I preferred Android phones. The HTC One E8 is a very good phone, but I still liked using my iPad Air 1 more. My HTC One E8 also supported 4G LTE, but only had 100MB of mobile data every month. I didn't bother upgrading it, as I could just use my iPad's hotspot to share its 3GB of monthly data over to my phone.
Shortly after that, I started studying MBBS at NUMed. Unlike Taylor's College, not many students at NUMed had an iPad. My friends in NUMed were also not very interested when I showed them my iPad Air 1. I upgraded my iPad to iOS 8 in October 2014. In November 2014, Microsoft made all Microsoft Office apps free to use on iPads. Since then, I stopped using iWork and switched to using Microsoft Office. This made my iPad Air 1 even more useful. I used my iPad a lot to do my studies.
In December 2014, it was the first birthday of my iPad Air 1. This also marked the end of its warranty. The first year of my iPad had been really great, and I was hoping for that to continue in the years to come. At that time, my iPad's cover had been worn out quite badly due to heavy use. Therefore, I bought a new cover for it. It made my iPad look like a new one, but unlike the old cover, it provided less protection against falls. I lied to my friends that my iPad was a new iPad Air 2, and some of them actually believed it.
On 13 January 2015, I was having an examination in the afternoon. Before the exam, I had lunch with my housemates at a restaurant. During lunch, I accidentally dropped my iPad Air 1 onto the floor. Immediately, the iPad couldn't detect it's SIM card. As I didn't bring the SIM eject tool with me, I had to wait until after the exam before I could remove and reinsert the SIM card. However, even after doing so, my iPad still couldn't detect it. I kept trying to reinsert the SIM card and restart my iPad, and I even performed a factory reset, but nothing worked.
At that point, I realised that I must have damaged my iPad's SIM card reader by dropping it. To make matters worse, the warranty of my iPad had just expired less than 1 month ago. It didn't help that I performed poorly in my exam on that day. That was definitely a very unlucky day for me. I brought my iPad Air 1 to an Apple store, and they told me that they wouldn't repair it, instead they offered to replace it with a new one for a price of RM1300. I refused to accept the offer as I felt that it was very unreasonable.
Not being able to detect the SIM card meant that my iPad Air 1 could no longer access 4G LTE, so it had to rely on WiFi all the time. Although the NUMed accommodation had WiFi, it was slow and unstable at times. Whenever I brought my iPad Air 1 outdoors, I wouldn't have internet access. This was definitely a huge inconvenience for me. It was quite embarrassing when my housemates knew about it, because earlier I boasted to them that my iPad could survive even a fall from a height of 17 floors.
In February 2015, I went back to Kulim for Chinese New Year. There, my iPad Air 1 was essentially useless as there was no WiFi. I then decided that I had to get my iPad repaired no matter what. I searched on the Internet for 3rd party repair shops, and I found a shop called iFix in SS15, Subang Jaya. This shop specialises in the repair of Apple products, and the customer reviews were good. They also claimed that they only use genuine Apple parts in their repair.
I brought my iPad Air 1 to iFix in March 2015. They said that my iPad wasn't damaged by the fall, instead the damage was due to contact with water. It would cost RM280 to repair it, and I agreed since it was quite reasonable. The repair was completed a few days later, and it seemed to be successful. My iPad Air 1 could once again read its SIM card and access 4G LTE. Of course, I was very glad about it.
However, a few weeks later, I noticed a problem with my iPad Air 1. Although it could access 4G LTE, the Internet connection would actually work only when the network was very strong with more than 3 bars. If the network strength was less than 3 bars, the Internet connection wouldn't work at all. This wasn't the case before the iPad's SIM card reader was damaged. Back then, if the network was weak, the Internet connection would still work, although it might be slow and unstable.
The problem was that in many places, there isn't a very strong network, so I couldn't access the Internet. Once again, it was an inconvenience for me. I tried searching on the Internet for an explanation and solution, but I couldn't find any. To this date, I don't know exactly what caused that problem. However, one thing for sure is that the problem was related to my iPad's SIM card reader which was repaired by iFix. There must be something they didn't do properly when performing the repair. I felt that it was pointless to repair my iPad again.
At that time, there were rumours on the Internet that Apple would be introducing split-screen multitasking for the iPad, which would allow 2 apps to be used at the same time. The Surface RT and other Windows tablets had this feature a long time ago. I found the feature very useful, and I really wished to have it on my iPad Air 1. In June 2015, Apple finally announced that iOS 9 would have the split-screen multitasking feature known as Split View, but much to my disappointment, it would only be available on the iPad Air 2.
Apple also announced another multitasking feature known as Slide Over, which would be available on the iPad Air 1. When using an app, Slide Over allows another app to be dragged in and used, but unlike Split View, it doesn't allow both apps to be used simultaneously. I was very upset with Apple for not giving my iPad Air 1 the Split View feature. Slide Over was a welcome addition, but I felt that it was insufficient. I started feeling a bit regret for getting the iPad Air 1, thinking that I should have waited for the iPad Air 2 instead.
Later in that month, I went to stay in Kulim for 3 weeks. As it turned out, the 4G LTE network in Kulim wasn't strong enough, so I couldn't access the Internet on my iPad Air 1. I tried disabling 4G to get a stronger 3G network, but it made no difference at all. I could access the Internet using my HTC One E8 phone, but it only had 100MB of data which I quickly used up. After exceeding the data limit, I could only access the Internet at a speed of 64kbps which is really slow.
A solution would be to exchange the SIM cards of my iPad Air 1 and my HTC One E8 so that I could have 3GB of data on my phone. Unfortunately, I forgot to bring my phone's SIM eject tool to Kulim, and my iPad's tool wouldn't work with my phone as the hole on my phone's SIM tray was smaller. I tried using other sharp objects to eject the SIM tray, but they couldn't fit in the hole. Later, I finally found a pin that could fit in the hole, but for some reason it couldn't eject the SIM tray, no matter how I tried.
Eventually, I gave up out of fear that I might damage my HTC One E8. So, my phone was stuck with only 100MB of data, while my iPad Air 1 had 3GB of data that couldn't be utilised at all. Throughout the 3 weeks in Kulim, I was forced to live with a very slow 64kbps Internet connection. Luckily, the game Clash of Clans could work with 64kbps so I could still play it. The next time I went to Kulim in August 2015, I made sure to bring along my phone's SIM eject tool so that I could perform the SIM card exchange.
In September 2015, I upgraded my iPad Air 1 to iOS 9. At that time, I found out that the real reason the iPad Air 1 couldn't get the Split View feature was that it only had 1GB of RAM which was insufficient for running 2 apps at the same time. Meanwhile, Microsoft had just released Windows 10, but Windows RT tablets including the Surface RT couldn't be upgraded to Windows 10 at all. I chose to be grateful of the fact that my iPad Air 1 could at least run new apps designed for iOS 9, unlike those Windows RT tablets that couldn't run any Windows 10 apps.
One day in October 2015, it was raining very heavily and I walked through the rain carrying my iPad Air 1, which caused some rainwater to enter the iPad's connector port. After that, I noticed that my iPad's home button was no longer working. This wasn't much of a problem for me, as I hardly ever used the home button, preferring to use Assistive Touch as a substitute for it. My Taylor's College friends had previously advised me to avoid pressing the home button as it gets damaged easily.
In December 2015, I finally figured out the solution to the 4G LTE problem on my iPad Air 1. I terminated my iPad's 3GB monthly data and upgraded my phone's data plan to 2GB monthly. I also signed up Multi SIM for my mobile account and used the 2nd SIM card on my iPad. With that, both my phone and my iPad could have 2GB of shared data per month. In places where the 4G LTE network is very strong, I would use my iPad's 4G LTE connection directly; in places where the network is weaker, I would use my phone's hotspot to share its 4G LTE connection over to my iPad.
With 4G LTE problem solved, I could once again make full use out of my iPad Air 1. Although 2GB of data per month wasn't a lot, it was still sufficient for me as long as I kept an eye on the data usage and avoided wasting data unnecessarily. In April 2016, my mobile operator offered me a special promotion. As a result, my monthly data was upgraded from 2GB to 10GB. With that, I could browse the Internet comfortably without worrying about exceeding the data limit.
In September 2016, I upgraded my iPad Air 1 to iOS 10. After the upgrade, my iPad became a bit slower compared to previously. However, iOS 10 introduced several new features which I really liked. At that time, the cover and screen protector of my iPad had been in poor condition. Therefore, I decided to get a new cover and screen protector for it in October 2016. In November 2016, my mobile operator upgraded my monthly data to 20GB without additional charges.
In June 2017, Apple announced iOS 11. iOS 11 would introduce several new features for iPads, such as the Files app, the dock, improved multitasking and support for drag-and-drop. Those features seemed very useful, and I couldn't wait to try them out. During my summer break in August 2017, I upgraded my iPad Air 1 to the beta version of iOS 11. This was a risky move, as the non-functional home button on my iPad meant that I couldn't put it into DFU mode to perform a restore in case something went wrong. I also didn't backup before upgrading.
It turned out that iOS 11 wasn't as good as it seemed. The Files app had many limitations, such as the inability to create new folders or save files in the "On My iPad" folder. The lack of the Split View feature on my iPad Air 1 meant that I couldn't really make use of the improved multitasking and drag-and-drop. iOS 11 also dropped support for 32-bit apps, causing me to lose access to a few apps. Worse still, the iOS 11 beta had some bugs and was quite laggy on my iPad Air 1, but I believed that it would be fixed by the time the final version launches.
On 4 September 2017, just as I was supposed to begin my 4th year of MBBS, NUMed unexpectedly announced that every student had to resit for the 3rd year exam because of a security breach. I always do my studies on my iPad Air 1. As the final version of iOS 11 still hadn't launched at that time, I had to revise for that exam using my iPad that's running a beta version of iOS. Luckily, there weren't any issues that could affect my revision.
After upgrading my iPad Air 1 to the final version of iOS 11, it was still quite laggy. The lag was particularly noticable when launching an app. It was clear that with only 1GB of RAM, the iPad Air 1 couldn't run iOS 11 smoothly. My iPad had shown it's signs of age, and I began thinking of getting a new iPad. In December 2017, my mobile operator once again upgraded my monthly data to 40GB without additional charges. Later in that month, I bought a new Google Pixel 2 phone. It's definitely a high-end phone with very good performance.
I used my Pixel 2 phone a lot, as it's very much faster than my iPad. Meanwhile, I became quite annoyed with the lag of my iPad Air 1, so I used it less and less. I thought that iOS 11 would be the last iOS version for the iPad Air 1. However in June 2018, Apple announced that all devices running iOS 11 could be upgraded to iOS 12, and promised that iOS 12 would bring performance improvements, especially for older devices.
In August 2018, I upgraded my iPad Air 1 to the beta version of iOS 12. After the upgrade, the performance of my iPad improved slightly, and the apps could launch faster. I didn't notice any bugs with the iOS 12 beta. However, iOS 12 didn't introduce many new features. I upgraded my iPad to the final version of iOS 12 in September 2018. At that time, I just started my 5th year of MBBS. I downloaded several new ebooks to my iPad Air 1 which were required for my studies in 5th year. As a result, the amount of free storage space on my iPad became quite limited.
Despite the performance improvements of iOS 12, my iPad Air 1 was still quite laggy. I didn't want to use it much, apart from the purpose of studying. The newest iPad at that time was the iPad 6 released in March 2018. I didn't quite like it as it doesn't have a fully laminated display and anti-reflective coating, which the iPad Air 2 had. In October 2018, Apple announced the iPad Pro 3. Although I was quite impressed with the iPad Pro 3, I felt that it's too expensive. Besides, it has Face ID instead of Touch ID, but I prefer Touch ID over Face ID.
In December 2018, many of my friends in NUMed travelled to Newcastle University UK to take the Situational Judgement Test (SJT). I had wanted to do the same, but flying to UK and back would cost more than RM4000. I realised that RM4000 would be sufficient to buy a new iPad, so I decided to save the money by not taking the SJT. My plan was to wait for Apple to release the iPad 7 in 2019, hoping that it would have fully laminated display and anti-reflective coating.
In March 2019, it turned out that Apple released the iPad Air 3 and iPad Mini 5 instead of the iPad 7. Unlike iPad Air 1 and 2, the iPad Air 3 has a larger 10.5" screen and is essentially a cheaper version of the 10.5" iPad Pro 2. It has fully laminated display and anti-reflective coating, and it has Touch ID instead of Face ID. I was really impressed with the iPad Air 3 and I thought of getting it to replace my iPad Air 1.
The only issue is that the 10.5" screen means that the Microsoft Office apps won't be free to use on the iPad Air 3. Since March 2015, Microsoft has a policy where devices with a screen size of 10.1" or smaller can use Microsoft Office for free, while larger devices require a paid Office 365 subscription to use it. Although I have an Office 365 subscription provided by NUMed, it would soon end when I graduate.
A few days later, my Acer laptop broke down unexpectedly. It would forcefully switch itself off after it's in use for a few minutes, making it unusable. Through online search, I found out that the issue might be due to a dirty or non-functioning CPU fan. I got the CPU fan cleaned by a shop in Johor Bahru, but the issue persisted. As my Acer laptop was already more than 8 years old, I felt that it might be time to get a new laptop. However, it would cost too much money to get both a new laptop and a new iPad.
I thought of getting the Surface Pro 6, a laptop-tablet hybrid device running Windows 10, to replace both my Acer laptop and my iPad Air 1. I actually liked the iPad Air 3 more than the Surface Pro 6, but the fact was that only the Surface Pro 6 could fully replace my Acer laptop. I felt sad that buying the Surface Pro 6 would mean I would never be buying the iPad Air 3. However, my parents didn't want to buy me the Surface Pro 6 as they felt it's too expensive, and instead recommended a cheaper Windows laptop for me. I was unimpressed with that laptop and I didn't want it.
I then decided to have my Acer laptop repaired at a shop in Subang Jaya during my Easter break. The repair costed RM300 and it seemed to be successful. However, after I returned to Johor Bahru, the issue of my Acer laptop forcefully switching itself off returned. At that time, I was busy revising for my exams for 5th year of MBBS. As I do my revisions using my iPad Air 1, I could live without my Acer laptop for the time being. The repair shop had given me a 2 month warranty, so I planned to bring my Acer laptop back there the next time I go back to Subang Jaya.
In May 2019, my iPad Air 1 became very unstable where apps would crash randomly. I then realised that the free storage space on my iPad was close to zero. I offloaded several apps and turned on the "Optimise iPad Storage" feature for the Photos app. This regained a few GB of storage, making my iPad faster and more stable. However, there was another problem. My iPad's battery life was getting worse and worse, and sometimes its battery level would continue to fall even when it was being charged. Luckily, it didn't have any impact on my revision for the exams.
In June 2019, Apple announced that the next version of iOS would be rebranded as iPadOS for iPads. iPadOS 13 would introduce several new features such as desktop Safari browser, download manager, improved Files app, support for USB drives and support for mouse. With these features, iPads would become much more powerful and could almost completely replace a laptop. As expected, my iPad Air 1 wouldn't get the upgrade to iPadOS 13. Even if the upgrade is possible, it's likely that the performance won't be good.
The iPad Air 3 running iPadOS 13 would be able to meet vast majority of my computing needs. Therefore, I decided to get the iPad Air 3 and I no longer wanted the Surface Pro 6. Meanwhile, my Acer laptop would act as a backup computer for rare tasks that the iPad Air 3 can't perform. I sent my Acer laptop back to the repair shop in Subang Jaya and they agreed to repair it once more without any additional charges. The repair was completed in July 2019, and my laptop's problem was truly fixed this time.
On 2 August 2019, I finally bought the iPad Air 3 at Machines in Main Place Mall. I chose the gold, 64GB, WiFi + 4G LTE model. iPadOS 13 was not yet released at that time and the iPad was pre-installed with iOS 12. With much better performance, properly functioning 4G LTE, Split View feature, TouchID, better screen, greater storage and compatibility with iPadOS 13, the iPad Air 3 is definitely a much better device than the iPad Air 1. I really like my iPad Air 3 and I will definitely take good care of it. However, I will also continue to use my iPad Air 1 for as long as it continues to function.
Wednesday 24 July 2019
The MOSLER is a clinical assessment where we have to see real patients. The MOSLER has 6 domains of assessment which are Information Gathering, Technical & Procedural Skills, Communication Skills, Clinical & Diagnostic Reasoning, Management, and Professional Behaviour. There are in-course MOSLER's throughout Stage 3 and Stage 5 as well as an End of Stage MOSLER at the end of Stage 5.
Here, I would like to share my thoughts on my failure in Stage 5 of MBBS.
To be honest, before I entered Stage 5, I wasn't confident of being able to pass it in my first attempt. My greatest worry was failing the MOSLER's. Back in Stage 3, I faced great difficulties with the in-course MOSLER's, failing the Clinical & Diagnostic Reasoning domain twice, and disastrously failing all domains of the Women's Health MOSLER.
Although I then passed Stage 4 without significant difficulties, that was because there are no MOSLER's in Stage 4. I knew my underlying weakness with the MOSLER's was still there, and that it would be a problem for me during Stage 5. With the addition of the Management domain, the MOSLER's in Stage 5 would be even more difficult than in Stage 3.
However, after I got into Stage 5, I realised that it is actually not as difficult as what I had expected. Stage 5 is basically a revision of the Stage 3 curriculum, plus some new things. I still remembered what I learnt in Stage 3 fairly well, and I felt that I actually understand everything much better when learning them a second time.
Therefore, I soon became quite confident of passing Stage 5. As it turned out, I didn't face much difficulties with the in-course MOSLER's in Stage 5. I managed to pass all domains of the Women's Health MOSLER this time, and the lecturer was impressed with my improvement. Although I still didn't get a perfect result in all in-course MOSLER's, I never failed any domain more than once.
After completing the final exams, I was very sure that I had passed Stage 5, and I wasn't quite worried about the release of the results. Therefore, it definitely came as a shock to me when I found out that I failed the End of Stage MOSLER. After all the confidence I had throughout Stage 5, it turns out that the worries I had before entering Stage 5 actually materialised.
I initially planned to appeal my MOSLER results. However, after reading the feedback written by the examiners, I realised there is no grounds for an appeal, as the feedback clearly corresponds to the marks I got for each station. Besides, there has never been a case in NUMed where an appeal of exam results is successful. Therefore, I gave up on the appeal.
The issue about failing Stage 5 is that we must repeat the entire year and take all assessments again, as NUMed doesn't allow us to just resit the failed assessments in August like for Stage 1, 2 and 4. Most students don't like the idea of having to spend another year studying for the MBBS degree and they prefer to be given the opportunity to resit in August.
But for me, while I think repeating the year isn't ideal, I actually prefer it over resitting the MOSLER in August. This is because repeating the year gives a substantially higher chance of passing compared to resitting in August. It is definitely important to maximise the chance of passing as failing a second time will result in dropping out of MBBS.
If we resit in August, we have only about 2 months to revise everything and also improve on our weakness, which is definitely very challenging and risky. Meanwhile by repeating Stage 5, we have an entire year's time, and we are taught everything again. It isn't uncommon for students to fail again after resitting in August, while most students improve a lot after repeating the year.
As I have mentioned in my previous post, the main cause of my failure is my method of studying. Other possible causes are overconfidence and lack of clinical skills practice. I had some relationship issues in the months leading up to the final exams, which also contributed to my failure in the MOSLER.
I never looked forward to graduation. I have been together with my friends in NUMed for so long. As an emotional person, having to separate with them after graduating definitely makes me feel very sad. Now that I failed Stage 5, I am not graduating this year, but it doesn't make much of a difference, as I still have to separate with most of my friends.
This is the first time where I failed a year in the MBBS course. I definitely consider Stage 5 to be the most difficult year. Despite that, the course content of Stage 5 have been very interesting. For the repeat year of Stage 5, I hope I will have a much better experience. I won't hate NUMed for failing me, and I will never regret my decision to study MBBS at NUMed.
Monday 1 July 2019
The MOSLER has 6 domains of assessment which are Information Gathering, Technical & Procedural Skills, Communication Skills, Clinical & Diagnostic Reasoning, Management, and Professional Behaviour. For the MOSLER which I took in June 2019, I failed the Management domain and I only scored the bare minimum required to pass the Clinical & Diagnostic Reasoning domain.
What went wrong actually? After reading the feedback written by the examiners in the MOSLER, I think I have figured out that the main problem lies with my method of studying. Basically, I place a lot of emphasis on the BREADTH of knowledge, but not on the DEPTH of knowledge.
Focusing on the breadth means that I always try to study as many diseases as possible in the books. I usually give every disease equal consideration, regardless of how common each disease is. With a few exceptions, I will not leave out any disease in my revision.
However, I do not study each disease deeply. Usually, after revising the signs and symptoms as well as the basic investigation and management plans of a disease, I consider myself done with that disease and I will not explore it further. My thought is that any further knowledge is not important for undergraduates.
My favourite specialty is primary care (general practice). Being the first point of contact for patients, general practitioners need to know a very broad range of diseases, but they do not need to know each disease as deeply as compared to other specialists. My interest in this speciality has a certain influence on my method of studying.
Having the breadth of knowledge is important for the SBA examination as the questions test on many different types of diseases, including very rare ones. My method of studying that emphasises on the breadth of knowledge enables me to perform quite well in the SBA.
But for the MOSLER, the depth of knowledge is important. This is because the examiners usually do not just ask general questions like "How would you manage this patient?". Rather, they would focus on a particular area and ask detailed questions about that. Without the depth of knowledge, it will not be possible to answer many of those questions.
One of my stations in the MOSLER was hypothyroidism. The examiner asked me about the investigations for Hashimoto's thyroiditis, a cause of hypothyroidism. I gave thyroid function test as the answer, but the correct answer should also include autoantibodies test which I did not know because I did not study Hashimoto's thyroiditis detailed enough.
Next, the examiner asked me how I would adjust the dose of thyroxine that the patient was on. I could not answer that question at all, as the only thing I studied about the management of hypothyroidism is giving thyroxine. In the end, I got a score of 0 for both the Clinical & Diagnostic Reasoning and Management domains of that station.
There was a MOSLER station where a patient with COPD came for a follow-up. I knew the bronchodilators and steroids used to treat COPD, but the patient already was on all those drugs. The examiner instead asked me about the prophylaxis against acute exacerbations of COPD. I did not study that at all, so I was unable to answer that question.
In one MOSLER station, the patient had just recently underwent a coronary artery bypass graft (CABG) surgery for MI. The examiner asked me which vessel is used for CABG. As I did not study the details of CABG, I only knew that the vessel is located in the legs but not the name of the vessel which is long saphenous vein.
In the acute care simulation station of the MOSLER, the patient had pneumothorax. After performing ABCDE, the examiner asked about the further management and I answered chest drain which was correct. However, when the examiner asked how should the chest drain be inserted, I could not answer it at all. Again, this is because I never bothered to study chest drain in detail.
Many students in Stage 5 of MBBS actually did well in the MOSLER but poorly in the SBA. I believe their situation is the opposite of mine, where they have the depth of knowledge but lack the breadth of knowledge. From my observation, many students tend to focus on the more common diseases and study them deeply, while neglecting the less common diseases.
So, in order to perform well in all Stage 5 assessments, we need to have both the breadth of knowledge and depth of knowledge. In the future, I need to change my method of studying so that in addition to revising a wide range of diseases, I also go deeply when revising each disease.
Friday 14 June 2019
The 5th year of my MBBS course at Newcastle University Medicine Malaysia (NUMed) is known as Stage 5 2018/2019. Semester 1 of Stage 5 2018/2019 is the Essential Senior Rotations (ESR), while semester 2 of Stage 5 2018/2019 is the Hospital Based Practice (HBP). Stage 5 2018/2019 lasted about 9.5 months from 28 August 2018 to 13 June 2019. During Stage 5 2018/2019, I lived at EcoNest which is the accommodation managed by NUMed. Here, I am writing about my experience during Stage 5 2018/2019. In this post, I will be using a two-letter pseudonym to refer to each particular person.
Essential Senior Rotations (ESR) consisted of 5 rotations which were Child Health (CH), Mental Health (MH), Preparation for Practice (P4P), Primary Care (PC) and Women's Health (WH). Hospital Based Practice (HBP) consisted of 3 rotations which were Surgery, Medicine and Emergency & Orthopaedics (ED Ortho). There were in-course MOSLER assessments during each rotation except P4P and ED Ortho. Summative assessments would count towards the final outcome of Stage 5, while formative assessments would not.
On 9 August, I was writing on this blog about my experience during Stage 4 of MBBS. It enabled me to relive the events that happened in Stage 4. Suddenly, I realised for the first time that I was in love with SG, a girl in my Stage 4 seminar group. On 23 August, the group list for semester 1 of Stage 5 was released. It was largely the same as the Stage 4 grouping. I would be in the same group with SG for CH, MH, P4P and WH, while the grouping for PC was not yet known. I was so delighted about that.
On 26 August, I returned to Johor Bahru and moved into EcoNest. The NUMed managed accommodation used to be at Horizon Residences for the previous years, so this was my first time staying at EcoNest. EcoNest was located quite close to the NUMed campus. It looked much nicer and had better facilities compared to Horizon Residences. However, the area surrounding EcoNest was rather isolated which made me feel uncomfortable. Worse still, NUMed didn't provide a cleaning service for EcoNest. Therefore, I still preferred Horizon Residences.
Stage 5 began on 28 August. The first week just consisted of induction lectures at the NUMed campus. I and many other students were applying for the UK Foundation Programme (UKFP) 2019. As part of the application, we had to sit for the Situational Judgement Test (SJT) which was supposed to be held only in UK. NUMed stated that they were trying to negotiate to let us sit for the SJT at the NUMed campus so that we wouldn't have to fly to UK. At that time, I started writing my Elective Assignment. In the first part, I had to write a report about the Elective I did during Stage 4, while in the second part, I had to write about a scenario I encountered during the Elective that involved making ethical decisions.
The Child Health (CH) rotation began on 3 September. I was happy to meet my group mates. On that day, we had some seminar sessions at the NUMed campus. On 4 September, it was our first hospital teaching session at Hospital Sultan Ismail (HSI). The last time I had hospital teaching was way back in June 2017 during Stage 3. Unlike during Stage 3, NUMed no longer provided us with transportation to hospital for Stage 5. I was afraid to drive to HSI myself, so I went there by GrabCar. When SG knew about that, she told me that she was carpooling with BH, LS and CN and invited me to join them. I happily accepted her invitation. On that afternoon, SG invited me to clerk a patient with her and I happily agreed. My group was supposed to stay back at HSI for the evening shift, but we just went home.
On 5 September, my group was posted to the Day Care of HSI. Starting from that day, I carpooled with SG, BH, LS and CN when travelling to the hospital every day. SG was staying at EcoNest too, LS was staying at ISV just next to the NUMed campus, while BH and CN were staying at EcoBotanic nearby. We discovered a new route back from HSI through the EDL highway. Although it was longer, the sceneries were much better. Through carpooling, I had quite a lot of time with SG and I became quite close to her. On most of the days where we had hospital sessions, I and my group mates would have lunch together. On 7 September, I drove to HSI and SG, BH, LS and CN sat in my car for the first time. On the way back, BH made a mistake when giving me the directions, resulting in me not able to use the new route.
I and SG always got along very well. I always tried my best to treat her well and to give her a good impression of myself. BH and CN would sometimes try to matchmake SG and GE, giving me the impression that GE was interested in SG. Meanwhile, LS had been very close to SG for a long time and I could see that LS had a crush on SG. I considered GE and LS to be my competitors. Around that time, I started having a cough which lasted for a long time. NUMed informed us the update that the SJT wouldn't be held at NUMed and we could only sit for it at Newcastle University UK. Flying to UK and back would cost more than RM4000. I was thinking of buying a new iPad at that time and RM4000 would be sufficient for that. Therefore, I decided to save the money by not taking the SJT, which meant that I wouldn't be able to proceed with my application for UKFP 2019. I actually had no plans to join UKFP 2019 and I was just applying for fun. 10 and 11 September were public holidays.
Unlike the CH rotation in Stage 3 where many of the cases we saw in the wards were febrile seizures, we came across a much wider variety of cases this time round. On 12 September, my group had a teaching session at the Paediatrics clinic at HSI. The formative in-course MOSLER assessment was on 13 September. I got a case of asthma. Despite performing quite well, I passed only 3 out of the 5 domains. Meanwhile, SG got a case of uncontrolled diabetes and she too passed only 3 domains. The examiner was being very strict so that we could do better in the summative MOSLER. On that evening, I had dinner with SG, BH, LS, CN and several of their friends in Gelang Patah. On 14 September, it was my turn to drive to HSI. This time, I managed to use the new route correctly as I studied the route beforehand. After the session at HSI, I had lunch with SG and LS at a noodle shop near EcoNest. During the campus session on that afternoon, there was a role play scenario where I had to give explanation about meconium aspiration syndrome to a mother. I made some mistakes and my group mates kept laughing at me, causing me to not be able to complete the explanation.
There was another public holiday on 17 September. On 18 September, my group was posted to the paediatric cardiology ward at Hospital Sultanah Aminah (HSA). There, I and SG clerked a case of Kawasaki disease together. On that afternoon, there was a case presentations session at the NUMed campus. I and BH had to present a case of partially immunised child. BH added so much information to the extent that our presentation had more than 60 slides! The lecturer told us to cut short our presentation to avoid wasting too much time. On 19 September, it was the summative in-course MOSLER assessment for CH. Coincidentally, I got the same examiner as the one I got during my MOSLER in Stage 3. My patient was 8 years old and she presented with fever, fits, runny nose and cough. I thought of the diagnosis of febrile seizures, but I then remembered that it only affected those aged between 6 months and 6 years. Since there were no signs of meningism, I gave the differential diagnoses of Encephalitis and Epilepsy. The examiner gave me a pass for all 5 domains. That was a good start for this year and I was so happy.
On 20 and 21 September, there were sessions on ethics, musculoskeletal system as well as child and adolescence mental health at the NUMed campus. During the ethics session, one of the lecturers was quite upset because she had expected us to do preparation for the session but we didn't. The session involved role plays and we still managed to do them quite well, so the lecturer was satisfied in the end. The CH rotation ended on 21 September. At that time, a gate linking NUMed and the neighbouring University of Reading Malaysia (UoRM) was opened. On that afternoon, I and my close friend went over to UoRM and had lunch at the cafe there together. On 22 September, a few students in my batch organised a pool-side party at Horizon Residences and everyone in my batch was invited. As SG wasn't joining it, I didn't want to join initially. However, I later changed my mind and attended it. There, I had a good catch up with some of my friends from other groups.
The Mental Health (MH) rotation started on 24 September. There were seminar sessions at the NUMed campus on that day. At one point, the lecturer was asking for a precise definition of hallucination. She asked the students one by one, but no one could give a perfect answer. Finally, when it reached my turn, I answered "perception without stimulus". That turned out to be the perfect answer the lecturer was looking for and everyone gave me a round of applause. On 25 September, my group had teaching session at HSI. There was a case of schizophrenia in the ward and I, BH and TW clerked it together. I wanted to take a focussed history within 14 minutes, just like what we were expected to do in a MOSLER assessment, but BH and TW decided to take a full history which took more than 1 hour. I had no choice but to follow them, and most parts of the history taking was done by them. On that afternoon, we had to present the case to the lecturer and I volunteered to do the presentation. The lecturer was quite demanding and she interrupted me many times to get more information on the patient history.
On 26 September, my group was posted to Cure and Care (C&C) Rehabilitation Centre. There, I clerked two patients with substance misuse disorders. There was a community mental health team simulation session on 27 September. On 28 September, we were given a lecture on psychological management by a clinical psychologist. I was satisfied with the session, but the other students didn't quite like it as they felt there was too much information which they found difficult to understand. Later on that day, I submitted my Elective Assignment to NUMed. My close friend asked me to help check his Elective Assignment. There were some errors in his sentences and I helped him rewrite those sentences. Around that time, I felt that although the area surrounding EcoNest might seem isolated, it's good in the sense that it felt close to nature. I also realised that if I were to stay at Horizon Residences, I wouldn't be able to carpool with SG. Therefore, I started to really like EcoNest.
On 1 October, my group was posted to Permai Hospital. It was my turn to drive on that day. We went to the outpatient clinics and observed the consultations of several patients, all of which were coming for follow-up. After the hospital session, only SG followed me back without anyone else, and I really enjoyed that experience. On that day, I contacted the lead of the PC rotation to make a request regarding the grouping. I wanted to be in the same group with SG, and my request was approved. Around that time, whenever I had lunch with my group, BH and TW would harshly criticise me for not finishing my rice. Actually, it was just a few grains of rice that I left behind each time. I explained to them the fact that for some reasons I found it very uncomfortable to eat the last few grains of rice on the plate. However, they brushed off my explanation as a mere excuse. I was a bit upset with them over that.
My group was posted to the outpatient clinics of HSI on 2 October. The strict rule was that we weren't allowed to enter a consultation room if there was already a patient in there, so we could only enter it after the patient had left and before the next patient went in. I kept waiting in front of a consultation room for the patient to come out, but the consultation look way longer than I expected. After more than an hour, the patient finally came out, but before I could enter the consultation room, the next patient had already went in. As a result, the doctor wouldn't allow me to enter and I again had to wait until this patient had left. Once again, the consultation went on for a very long time. By 12 noon, I gave up and went for lunch with my group. Consequently, I saw no cases on that day.
On 3 October, we had campus clerking sessions. Real patients with mental health conditions were brought to the NUMed campus. The lecturer let one of my group mates do a formative in-course MOSLER assessment. As for the rest of us, we just clerked the patients and then discussed the case with the lecturer. On 5 October, there was a seminar session on eating disorders including anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa and binge eating disorder. Later on that day, NUMed announced that they would be introducing a two-weekly cleaning service for EcoNest. At that point, the NUMed managed accommodation at EcoNest just became perfect. My group was once again posted to Permai Hospital on 8 October. This time, we went to the inpatient wards. I and BH clerked a female patient with Schizophrenia. After that, the two of us went to the outpatient clinics and clerked another patient. As I wasn't very good in psychiatry history taking, BH did most of the history taking every time.
There was a critical thinking session on 9 October. During the session, the lecturer emphasised some of the important points for the MOSLER assessment. On 10 October, it was my summative in-course MOSLER assessment for MH. I got a case of Treatment-resistant Schizophrenia, and my task was to take a history about the patient's last hospital admission. However, I made a mistake by asking the patient "How can I help you?" in the beginning, to which he replied "I am here for your exam." I got panicked and ended up asking about the initial symptoms instead. It was only about 5 minutes later that I started asking about the last hospital admission. That was a bit too late, as there wasn't enough time left to cover everything. In the end, I failed the Information Gathering domain and passed all other domains. I didn't feel too bad about it as I felt that the most important domains I had to pass were Clinical & Diagnostic Reasoning and Management.
With the end of the MOSLER, me and my group mates could relax for some time, since our next rotation was P4P. On 12 October, there was a round-up session and that marked the end of the MH rotation. Looking back, I felt that I could have practised my psychiatry history taking skills more during the MH rotation. The deadline to submit the application for UKFP 2019 was on that day. I didn't bother to submit it since I wouldn't be taking the SJT anyway. My application was automatically withdrawn after the deadline passed. On 15 October, I went to AEON Bukit Indah for dinner. On the way home, I had a car accident at the junction in front of EcoNest. The other driver ran the red light and hit my car. Soon afterwards, several of my friends including SG came to the scene to help me. My close friend then took me to the police station to report the accident.
On 16 October, it was the start of the Preparation for Practice (P4P) rotation. Unlike the other rotations in ESR, P4P had no in-course MOSLER assessment and all sessions in P4P were held at the NUMed campus. Due to my car accident, I followed SG to the NUMed campus every day for that week. Later on that day, I had lunch with my group mates. On 18 October, there was a teaching practice session where we had to give a presentation on any topic not related to Medicine. I chose to present a tutorial on editing PDF files using Nitro PDF Pro. SG featured the presentations of several students on her Instagram story, but sadly she didn't feature mine. At that time, one of my group mates was selling photocopies of the Pass the PSA book. Almost everyone in my group brought it. On 21 October, my parents came to visit me and bring me a replacement car.
There was a debate session on 22 October. It was really interesting and I voiced out my opinion enthusiastically. Unfortunately, my close friend who really enjoyed debates had to skip the session as he had to settle some issues. On that afternoon, I had lunch with SG, LS, BH and CN at Spiced Mala Hotpot. That was the first time I went to the shop and I really liked the food there. Around that time, I found out that BH had a crush on CN. On 23 October, there was a group presentation session on end-of-life issues. I chose to join SG's group in presenting about end-of-life issues for Malay background. On that night, my group had a poolside party at EcoNest. We ordered pizza and played the Mafia game. It was really fun and it brought us closer as a group. On 24 October, I watched Venom at TGV Cinemas, AEON Bukit Indah. The movie was rather disappointing and I felt that it had lots of wasted potential.
Throughout the P4P rotation, there were several sessions on advanced communications and prescribing exercises. On 30 October, my group had lunch with our lecturer. On 31 October, it was the bad day on call session. It consisted of a simulated scenario where I was a house officer who had multiple tasks to perform at very busy ward. I was formatively assessed on my ability to work under pressure and to prioritise the more important tasks. Although I didn't perform well in it, I still enjoyed it and I gained valuable experience from it. The results of the Elective Assignment was supposed to be released on that day. However, I couldn't access the results on the feedback website, so I made a report about the issue. NUMed later informed that due to technical issues, the results would be released on the next day instead.
On 1 November, the Elective Assignment results was released. It turned out that I scored full marks! I really didn't expect that and I was so happy. A few of my group mates scored full marks as well. On that day, it was the evidence-based medicine presentation session. I and my close friend presented our critical appraisal of aromatherapy. SG's birthday is on 2 November. I gave her a birthday card and she accepted it happily. The P4P rotation came to an end on that day. Looking back, I attended every single session in P4P even though many of the sessions were optional. I really enjoyed the stress-free learning in P4P. The absence of in-course MOSLER assessment meant that I could focus on getting the most out of every session without my MOSLER revision interfering. SG attended every session in P4P as well.
On 5 November, the Primary Care (PC) rotation started. It was time for me to get back to studying again. I was in the same group with SG, BH and another student for PC. I carpooled with SG and BH when travelling to the clinic every day. For the first week, we were posted to Klinik Kesihatan Taman Universiti (KKTU). Most of the cases we saw at KKTU were very common cases like Upper Respiratory Tract Infection and Acute Gastroenteritis. 6 November was a public holiday. On 7 November, my group was split up as our lecturer was on leave. Both me and SG were posted to Klinik Kesihatan Mahmoodiah (KKM), but we were allocated to different groups. I drove to KKM and SG followed me. By the time my group finished our session, SG's group still was still having their session. I had wanted to wait for them to finish so that SG could follow me back. However, one of my friends wanted to follow me back and suggested that SG follow another friend back later. SG agreed with that so I reluctantly agreed as well.
There was a prescribing in primary care session on 9 November. During the session, there were several rounds of Kahoot quizzes which were really fun and intense. Unfortunately, I didn't win a single round although I came close to winning a few times. For the PC rotation, I was made the unofficial leader of my group. We were posted to Klinik Kesihatan Mahmoodiah (KKM) for the second and third weeks. At KKM, the cases we saw were more complicated and many of them were eye, ear, skin and orthopaedic cases. On 12 November, BH was absent as he went to attend his friend's graduation ceremony, so I only carpooled with SG. I really loved that experience and I hoped that I would have more of that in the future. On that afternoon, I had lunch with SG and another student, during which I mostly talked to SG only while ignoring the other student. Around that time, SG told me that although TW was very popular, she was never close to TW because she found him difficult to communicate with.
BH drove on 14 November. It was raining on that morning so he switched on the headlights. However, he forgot to turn them off when getting down the car, and consequently his car battery became flat. After our session was over, we had to jump start his car using the battery of another student's car, and that took us about an hour. On 16 November, there was a session on ethics in primary care. I volunteered to do case 4 which was the easiest case. The lecturer let us choose whether to do the summative in-course MOSLER on 19 or 21 November. I chose to do it on 21 November so that I would have more time to revise for it, while everyone else in my group chose 19 November. I still had to go to KKM on 19 November. On that afternoon, my group mates went for lunch at Restoran Hua Mui to celebrate their completion of the MOSLER and I joined them too. 20 November was a public holiday.
On 21 November, it was my summative in-course MOSLER for PC. I had to drive to KKM myself, as rest of my group had to be at KKM only after I had completed the MOSLER. I got a case of Viral Conjunctivitis with secondary Keratitis. During the physical examination, I inspected and palpated the patient's eyes and performed all the functional tests for the eyes, but I didn't inspect the palpebral conjunctiva and didn't palpate the preauricular lymph nodes. As a result, the lecturer gave me a fail for Technical & Procedural Skills. I passed all other domains. Once again, I didn't feel too bad as I managed to pass Clinical & Diagnostic Reasoning and Management. After the MOSLER, I went for lunch with my group. SG chose to follow BH instead of me, which made me feel quite disappointed. Worse still, as SG and BH reached the restaurant before me, they sat next to each other.
There was one more session at KKM on 22 November. I clerked a thyroid case on that day. The lecturer gave us a bit of teaching on Obstetrics and Gynaecology to prepare us for the next rotation. She also gave us some teaching on Dermatology. I again had lunch with my group on that afternoon. SG wanted to have nyonya food while BH wanted to have chicken rice, so we had a vote on that. I supported SG while the other student in my group supported BH, resulting in a 2 vs 2 tie. As I was driving, I made the final decision to go for nyonya food. BH said that I was being unfair, but I didn't bother. I had wanted to ask SG out on that night, but I just didn't have the courage to actually do it. On 23 November, there was a session on advanced communication. I had to give advice on quitting smoking to a patient. Due to my limited knowledge on nicotine replacement therapy, I could only offer the patient one option which was nicotine gum, and the patient was a bit annoyed with that. That was the last day of the PC rotation.
For the upcoming WH rotation, I would be in the same group with SG, CN, LS and TW, while BH would be in a different group. BH expressed his desire to switch to our group by swapping with someone, probably because he wanted to be in the same group with CN, and I and SG kept teasing him about that. I definitely refused to swap groups with BH. In the end, he stuck with his allocated group. There was a food fair near Sutera Mall at that time. I went there with my close friend on 24 November. A large variety of food was available there and we tried some of them. What I particularly liked was the muah chee. I used to eat it a lot in Penang but it wasn't widely available outside Penang. I ordered one more box of muah chee to bring home. I offered to give it to SG but she wasn't interested. On 25 November, I watched Crazy Rich Asians online.
On 26 November, the Women's Health (WH) rotation began. On that day, there were several seminar sessions at the NUMed campus. Back in Stage 3, I did very badly in the WH rotation, failing all of the domains in the in-course MOSLER. This time, I decided to start my revision early, use a better textbook, practise more on history taking and physical examination, engage well with every teaching session, take good care of my health and stop playing the game Clash of Clans for the time being to ensure that I could pass the MOSLER. On 27 November, my group was posted to the postnatal ward at HSI. The lecturer remarked that my physical examination had improved a lot compared to during Stage 3. My group had a teaching session at the patient assessment centre (PAC) of HSI on 29 November. After that, we went to the outpatient clinics. I and SG were attached to the same doctor, and we saw a case of fibroids.
On 30 November, we had hospital session in the morning followed by a radiology session at the NUMed campus in the afternoon. On that night, it was the NUMed Ball 2018, held at Berjaya Waterfront Hotel. Quite many of the students in my batch attended it. Only a few Stage 4 students attended it as they would be having their SBA exam soon. I sat in the same table with SG and LS. The food and performances were great. There was an online vote for the Prom Queen. I voted SG many times and she got selected as one of the finalists. I took a few really nice two-person photos with SG. I also took two-person photos with every other girl in my batch who was at the ball. It was definitely an enjoyable experience for me. This was actually the second NUMed Ball in 2018, the previous one was held in March 2018. I was the only one in my batch who attended both of the balls.
On 3 and 4 December, my group was posted to the gynaecology ward at HSI. We had an evening shift at HSI on 4 December. SG didn't want to stay for the evening shift while everyone else in my group wanted to stay, so I decided not to stay. As CN drove on that day, I and SG had no transport back. A few students from another group invited SG to follow them back and she agreed. I couldn't follow them as there wasn't enough space in the car, so I went back by GrabCar. However, LS then saw an interesting case at the PAC and convinced SG to go see it. I wasn't sure whether SG would be staying for the evening shift, but I was already on my journey back. On 5 December, there was a session on obstetric emergencies. SG told me that eventually she did stay for the evening shift on the previous day. I was quite upset about it to the extent that I couldn't pay attention during the session.
The formative in-course MOSLER assessment was on 6 December. My patient had just underwent a Caesarean Section due to Pre-eclampsia. The examiner was really strict. Instead of asking about the management for Pre-eclampsia, she kept asking me about post-operative management which I didn't know well. In the end, I passed only 2 out of the 5 domains. Meanwhile, SG and LS passed all 5 domains as they got a more lenient examiner. On that evening, I had dinner with SG, BH, LS and CN in Gelang Patah. On 7 December, there was a reallocation in the groups so I was in the same group with SG and BH but not CN. During the hospital session, BH kept getting confused between Preterm Prelabour Rupture of Membrane (PPROM) and Prelabour Term Rupture of Membrane (PROM), so the lecturer said to him "You look confused today. Why? Because your girlfriend is not here?" As CN wasn't there, I and SG used that opportunity to tease BH.
After the session, SG and LS went to the airport by GrabCar to fly to Ipoh. They took part in a radiology quiz at Universiti Kuala Lumpur in Ipoh on 8 December. GE also participated in it and he was in the same team with SG. While I felt a bit jealous, the fact was that I couldn't possibly participate in the radiology quiz as my anatomy knowledge was very poor. As it turned out, SG and GE had difficulties working with each other during the radiology quiz. GE kept wanting to dominate the team, despite the fact that he didn't have a lot of knowledge and his reaction was quite slow. SG couldn't accept that and she kept arguing with GE. In the end, their team was eliminated before reaching the final round. After the radiology quiz, SG was really angry with GE. She told many people about that and condemned GE through her tweets. I was so happy about that as I felt GE would no longer stand a chance in chasing SG. I told SG that I would give her my full support.
On 10 December, my group was posted to the antenatal ward at HSI. During the hospital session on 11 December, the lecturer told us some of the important points for the MOSLER assessment. He pointed out that my physical examination was quite good but advised me to do it faster. The summative in-course MOSLER assessment for WH was held on 12 and 13 December. BH, TW, CN and LS had their MOSLER on 12 December while I and SG had ours on 13 December. I got the same examiner as the one I got during my MOSLER in Stage 3. Coincidentally, I also got the same case which was Septic Miscarriage. Thanks to my efforts, I performed very much better in this MOSLER. The examiner was really impressed with my improvement and he gave me a pass for all 5 domains. With that, I had passed the Communication Skills, Clinical & Diagnostic Reasoning and Management domains in 4 in-course MOSLER's, so I didn't have to worry about them anymore.
After the MOSLER, I went for lunch with SG and a few other friends at People and Places Cafe. SG drove on that day and only I followed her. On the journey back, I kept talking to SG and she told me some of her really personal stuff. I thought it was an indication that she had some feelings towards me, and I surely loved that experience. On that night, my group had a poolside party at EcoNest. Once again, we ordered pizza and played the mafia game. On 14 December, there was a round-up session and that marked the end of both the WH rotation and ESR. At that time, I was loving SG so much. Although GE was out of the competition, there was still LS and I knew it wouldn't be easy for me to defeat him. I really hoped that I would be in the same group with SG again during semester 2.
There was 3 weeks of winter break from 15 December to 8 January. I went back to Subang Jaya on 15 December. I then went back to Kulim on 17 December. On 20 December, I returned to Subang Jaya. On 21 December, the group list for semester 2 was released, and it was largely the same as the semester 1 grouping. I would be in the same group with SG for Surgery and Medicine, but not ED Ortho. I was very happy about that. As for ED Ortho, PM would be in SG's group and I might be able to swap groups with PM. Around that time, SG, CN and some other students in my batch travelled to UK to take the Situational Judgement Test (SJT).
On 5 January, I met up with my Taylor's College friends. We had lunch and then went to Meeples. I told them that I was in love with SG and they wished me luck. On 6 January, I went to Kulim again for just 1 day. The SJT was held at Gateshead Leisure Centre in Newcastle, UK on 7 January. I returned to Johor Bahru on 8 January. Semester 2 of Stage 5 started on 9 January. Many of those who went to UK for the SJT had to skip the sessions on that day as they couldn't get back in time. On that week, there were induction lectures and teaching sessions for the Prescribing Safety Assessment (PSA). In this semester, about half of the sessions were assistantships while the other half were teaching sessions. For the assistantships, no lecturers would be present and we were expected to find learning opportunities by ourselves at the hospital.
On 11 January, my friends from another group organised a lunch to celebrate someone's birthday and everyone in our batch was invited. I and my close friend joined the lunch and it was really fun. The Surgery rotation began on 14 January. The first week just consisted of seminar sessions at the NUMed campus. On 15 January, there was a suturing session. I learnt how to perform various types of sutures on a banana. On that afternoon, I went out for lunch with SG and many other students in my group. On 16 January, there was a session on orthopaedics plaster casting. My group had lunch together again on that afternoon. SG had wanted to join us, but her close friend NI wanted to go to a different restaurant. Consequently, SG followed NI and didn't join us. I was so upset with NI about that. There was a pain management workshop on 18 January.
The next two weeks were the assistantships and my group was posted to Kluang hospital. On 21 January, we travelled to Kluang and BH was the one driving. We stayed at Ailang Hotel in Kluang and I was in the same room with LS. At the Kluang hospital, we clerked some patients and observed some clinical procedures. We also went to the outpatient clinics to observe the consultations. Overall, we couldn't learn much as there were no lecturers teaching us. I was busy preparing for the PSA exam at that time, mostly by doing PSA practice questions. Therefore, I didn't study Surgery at all. What I feared most about the PSA was the time limit. We had to answer 60 questions within 2 hours, which was quite short a time. Every day in Kluang, my group would go for lunch and dinner together. We returned to Johor Bahru on 23 January. On the journey back, BH nearly got us into a car accident.
For the following week, only half of my group decided to go to Kluang while the other half just skipped it. Since SG would be going, I wanted to go as well. We went to Kluang on 26 January. SG originally wanted to drive and I had planned to take the front seat of her car. At the last moment however, TW told us he would be driving, and SG then decided that we follow TW. I was a bit disappointed about that. Our activities at Kluang this week was very much like the previous week. When I was having supper with BH on 27 January, he asked me who do I think is the most beautiful girl in our batch, and I said it's SG. We returned to Johor Bahru on 28 January. When we were having dinner on the way back, TW asked me if there's someone I am in love with. As he asked that right in front of SG, I had to answer no.
On 1 February, it was the Prescribing Safety Assessment (PSA). I was seated right next to SG during the PSA. The PSA was more difficult than I expected. I couldn't answer 3 questions in the Prescribing section, which carried a lot of marks. Meanwhile, SG didn't find the PSA difficult. If I failed the PSA, I could still pass Stage 5 if I did well enough in the WriSkE, but I wouldn't be getting the PSA certificate. I really hoped that I would pass the PSA so that I could get the certificate. After the PSA, there was 1 week of break for the Chinese New Year from 2 February to 9 February. I went back to Kulim on 3 February and celebrated the Chinese New Year with my family. On the first day of Chinese New Year, SG sent me a wish through WhatsApp. I was so happy and I wished her back. At that time, I had the idea of giving SG a Chinese New Year card. I returned to Johor Bahru on 8 February.
On 9 February, I went to Popular Bookstore in AEON Bukit Indah to buy a Chinese New Year card. I found some really nice cards, but they were only sold in sets of 10. I bought a whole set and I decided that besides SG, I would also give a card to my close friend and each of my group mates. For the two weeks starting from 10 February, my group had teaching sessions at HSI. On 11 February, I passed the Chinese New Year card to SG and she was quite impressed with my message in it. I drove to HSI on that day. After the hospital session, only SG followed me back as BH chose to follow TW. During the journey, SG told me something really personal. That enabled me to conclude that LS wouldn't have a chance in chasing SG. I was so happy, thinking that with both GE and LS out of the way, it would be easy for me to chase SG. Around that time, I had a talk with PM and he agreed to swap groups with me so that I could be in the same group with SG for ED Ortho.
On 12 February, we had a hospital session with UP, a new lecturer, for the first time. When UP first saw us, he talked to us rather fiercely and we were quite scared of him. However, after SG showed up, UP became very nice to us. At one point, UP mentioned that he was still single. As a result, BH started thinking that UP was attracted to SG. On that evening, I had dinner with SG, BH, LS and SF. During the dinner, BH kept matchmaking SG and UP. SG countered by talking about BH and his crush CN instead. I and SF supported SG, but LS supported BH. BH and LS were essentially unstoppable as we just couldn't counter their arguments. In the end, SG gave up and refused to continue with the conversation. Later, BH brought up the conversation again in our WhatsApp group, and CN supported him too. I was rather unhappy about what BH was doing.
On 13 February, we were posted to the outpatient clinics at HSI. SG drove on that day. Out of my expectation, BH snatched the front seat of her car, unlike in the past where I used to take the front seat. I became even more upset with BH. At the outpatient clinic, the specialist doctor asked me a question about McBurney's point. I couldn't answer it and he scolded me quite badly. After the session, I and BH had to follow TW back as SG and LS went to visit one of their friends. When we were having lunch on the way back, I told BH and TW for the first time that I was in love with someone in our batch, but I refused to reveal who she was. They made several guesses but they purposely avoided guessing SG, which showed that they already knew it was SG. I was hoping that from now on, BH would stop matchmaking SG and UP.
Later on that day, I and my close friend went to Forest City. There were many duty-free shops there selling chocolates. My close friend bought a box of chocolate and he planned to give it to his crush on the next day which was Valentine's Day. I decided to also buy a box of chocolate for SG, but I would only give it to her when the conditions were ripe. On 14 February, UP gave my group an extra teaching session at Starbucks, EcoBotanic. We had found a suitable table, but UP told us to move to another table. As SG was sitting far away from UP in the first table, he might be hoping to get closer to SG by switching tables. Much to my delight, UP's plan failed, as SG sat beside me both before and after switching tables. UP told us that he would be carrying out a research project over the next few months and invited us to join him. I wasn't interested in the research project, but I chose to join it since SG would be joining as well.
On 18 February, it was the summative in-course MOSLER assessment for Surgery. I got a case of Chronic Cholecystitis with Choledocholithiasis. I performed quite well in the MOSLER and got a pass for all 5 domains. With that, I had passed all domains in at least 4 in-course MOSLER's, so I fulfilled the requirements for proceeding to the final exams. I drove on that day. After the MOSLER, my group had lunch and UP decided to join us. UP invited SG to follow him in his car and BH kept persuading SG to accept the invitation, but SG declined it and chose to follow me. At the restaurant, BH made everyone sit down quickly, leaving two adjacent seats for SG and UP. SG didn't have the energy to continue arguing, so she took the seat they gave her. I tried taking UP's seat beside SG, but everyone pressured me to move away. I relented after SG told me not to continue arguing with them, so UP sat beside SG. UP kept taking food for SG, and he even held SG's hand to teach her the right way to cut meat. BH and TW were watching that delightfully, while I was very jealous.
I was extremely furious about what BH did on that day. Even after knowing that I was in love in SG, BH continued to matchmake SG and UP, and he got the support of everyone else in our group. I began to feel that BH was just a fake friend of mine. I decided that I had to make a move by giving SG the box of chocolate as soon as possible. It was rather premature to make the move at that point and I knew my chance of success was low, but I had no choice. UP was already getting the upper hand and it would be too late if I kept waiting. Around that time, I and SG started playing PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds (PUBG). Many other students in our group had been playing PUBG for quite some time and we became interested to join them.
On 19 February, my group had a hospital session with another lecturer. I felt that everything was so much better without UP. After the session, we had to wait for CN as she drove. CN's group was taught by UP and their session was still ongoing. BH and SG decided to join their session and I had no choice but to follow. It turned out that UP had finished teaching and he was giving relationship advice to everyone. I had planned to give SG the box of chocolate on that day, but I felt it wasn't a good idea to do so right after listening to UP's relationship advice. On 21 February, it was the bad day on call session, held at the NUMed campus. It was similar to the one we had during P4P previously, but this time the cases in the simulated scenario were surgical cases. Once again, I didn't perform well but I still enjoyed it. With everyone around, I didn't want to give SG the box of chocolate on that day. After the session, my group went out for lunch and UP joined us. UP invited us to follow him in his car and BH again persuaded SG to do so. SG agreed to follow UP on the condition that someone else had to follow along, and I immediately volunteered for that.
During lunch, UP asked about BH's relationship with CN in front of everyone. BH became very shy and couldn't say a thing. After lunch, BH followed along in UP's car. BH had planned to take revenge on UP by forcing him to talk about his feelings towards SG. However, before BH could say a thing, UP immediately asked him if he was in love with CN and wanted a yes or no answer. BH was caught off-guard while I and SG kept provoking it. In the end, BH had to give in and admit that he really was in love with CN. I, SG and UP promised to keep it a secret, but I planned to tell it out if BH continued to matchmake SG and UP. On that afternoon, I and PM went to the NUMed Student Office (SO) to request for a swap in our groups for the ED Ortho rotation, and the request was approved. Later on that day, the PSA results was released and I passed it successfully. I scored 72% while the pass mark was 63%. I got the PSA certificate that I wanted so much and I was so happy about it.
I watched Happy Death Day 2U at TGV Cinemas, AEON Bukit Indah on 22 February. It was a very good movie. The Medicine rotation began on 24 February. I was in the same group with SG, TW and PM for this rotation. BH was no longer in my group and I was so glad about that. For the first week, my group was posted to the coronary care unit (CCU) of HSI. No lecturers were there, but our attendance would be taken by the staffs at the CCU. On that day, SG was a bit unwell and she took a sick leave. As a result, I also decided not to attend the CCU, despite the risk of getting penalised for unauthorised absence. On that evening, my group celebrated PM and WB's birthdays at AEON Bukit Indah. I offered to drive SG there since she was sick. However, she declined it as she was feeling better and could drive there herself.
On 25 February, I and SG went to the HSI CCU for the first time. We joined the ward rounds there. At one point, PM messaged me to inform that he was absent on that day due to sickness. When reading his message, I accidentally launched Clash of Clans on my phone and the loading sound of the game played at a high volume. I got panicked and I said "what the fuck" a few times. The doctors were laughing at that and I felt so embarrassed. Later, SG and TW criticised me for my overreaction. On that afternoon, I went for lunch with SG, TW and BH. SG was driving and I followed her, while BH followed TW. As I and SG arrived at the restaurant first, we waited in the car for some time. At that time, I finally mustered my courage and gave the box of chocolate to SG. It turned out that she accepted the chocolate happily and thanked me for that. On the way back, BH followed us and he saw the box of chocolate. SG told him that it was from me and he didn't make any further comments about it. Later, I, SG, BH and TW played a round of PUBG together.
I was overjoyed that SG accepted my box of chocolate. I told my close friend about it and he congratulated me. I started planning my next step, which was to ask SG out soon. On that night, there was a Chingay parade in Johor Bahru. SG, CN, BH, LS, TW and many of their friends attended it, but I didn't join them. On 26 February, I drove to HSI while SG and BH followed me. SG seemed to be more quiet compared to usual. I assumed that she was quite tired after attending the Chingay parade. After the CCU ward rounds ended, my group could leave. As BH's group was still having their teaching session, I, SG, TW and PM decided to go for lunch without waiting for him.
At that time, SG suddenly told me that she would be following TW instead of me, giving the reason that TW would be going to the NUMed campus later and she wanted to go there too. I was so shocked, but my immediate thought was that SG would still follow me to the restaurant and she would only be following TW on the way back. However, SG and TW walked out together and they were walking very fast. It was clear that SG wouldn't be following me at all. I felt quite sad about that. Since the NUMed campus was located quite near EcoNest, I could easily send her there. I told PM about it and he comforted me by saying that SG was probably just being considerate by not wanting to trouble me. I then calmed myself down temporarily. During lunch, SG was still quite quiet.
After returning home, I kept thinking about what happened on that day. Then, I figured out that I might have been rejected by SG. What probably happened was that SG initially thought that the box of chocolate from me was just a gift as a normal friend, but BH who had seen the chocolate mentioned about it to their friends during the Chingay parade, and they told her I was actually in love with her, resulting in her decision to reject me. That would explain why she didn't want to talk to me much and didn't want to follow me in my car on the following day. SG probably was just giving an excuse by saying she wanted to go to the campus, TW took her back to EcoNest in reality. I was so sad that I cried in my bedroom. I told my close friend about what happened, and he too felt that the situation had become very critical.
On 27 February, BH was driving and I followed him, but SG chose not to follow us at all. At the CCU, SG still didn't want to talk to me much, just like the previous day. Then, the worst thing happened. SG returned the box of chocolate to me, claiming that there was no way she could finish it. At that point, her rejection had been confirmed and all hopes were lost. When having lunch with my group on that day, the situation was extremely awkward and I really didn't know how I should face SG. Later on that day, I noticed that SG had unfriended me on Facebook. I asked BH and TW to tell me what actually happened. BH insisted that he didn't know anything and that nobody was talking about me during the Chingay parade. Meanwhile, TW stated that SG realised something wasn't right after giving some thoughts about the chocolate I gave her and SG returned the chocolate to me because she didn't want to give me false hopes. TW also said that he didn't feel there was any awkwardness between me and SG, which I found very unbelievable.
Of course, I was devastated. What made me really sad was the way the rejection was revealed. Just as I thought I had succeeded after SG accepted the chocolate, the rejection came suddenly and unexpectedly. Worse still, it seemed that I and SG could no longer be friends moving forward. My close friend consoled me and I really appreciated it. My greatest wish at that time was to get back to being normal friends with SG, but I didn't know what was the right thing to do. After the rejection, I decided to pull out from UP's research project. On 28 February, there was a photography session for my batch at the NUMed campus. Although I attended it, I wasn't in the mood for that. When the students organising the session kept asking us to adjust our positions, I scolded them and criticised their photography skills. The repair of my car was completed on that day, more than 4 months after the car accident.
On 1 March, I went to collect my car. For the first 2 weeks for March, my group had teaching sessions at HSI. On 4 March, I had to drive to HSI alone, for the first time in Stage 5. I couldn't carpool with BH as his group was posted to a different hospital from that week onwards. When SG saw me at the ward, she greeted me normally. Later, she also discussed with me about her patient. It was clear that SG wanted to continue being friends with me and I was so glad about that. For the rest of the week, SG was talking to me normally. When SG, TW and PM wanted to have lunch together on 6 March, SG invited me to join them. She even asked me to help get some tissues for her during lunch. However, SG still had some reservations. She didn't want to sit beside me during lunch. SG also wasn't carpooling with me and didn't add me back as a friend on Facebook. I understood that SG needed more time to move on, and I was positive that the situation would improve as time went on.
There was an acute care simulation session at the NUMed campus on 7 March. I watched Captain Marvel at TGV Cinemas, AEON Bukit Indah on 8 March which was the International Women's Day. As the movie was about feminism, that was the perfect day to watch it. I really loved the movie. On 10 March, my parents came to visit me and they took back the replacement car. At that time, SG still hadn't known that I would be switching to her group for the ED Ortho rotation. On 11 March, I told her about it, giving the reason that I preferred to be posted to HSI rather than HSA. SG's response was just fine. However, I was a bit worried that she might get upset after giving some thoughts about it, just like what happened after I gave her the chocolate earlier. I had to wait until the next day to find out whether she got upset. I, SG and TW had planned to have lunch together on that day, but TW pulled out at the last minute as he had something to do. As expected, SG didn't want to go for lunch with just me.
On 12 March, SG was absent due to sickness. Without meeting her, I couldn't find out whether she was upset with me over the group switch. I lamented to TW that I most probably could have gone for lunch with SG on the previous day if I didn't give her the chocolate and get rejected. However, TW said that as a close friend of SG, he knew pretty well that SG wouldn't agree to go for lunch with just me even if the rejection didn't happen. I argued that SG was never close to him as she had told me that herself, but TW insisted that they had always been very close. To try to prove TW wrong, I made up a fake story that I, SG and LS once planned to have dinner together and LS pulled out at the last minute, but SG still went for the dinner with just me. I assumed that TW wouldn't go and ask SG whether the story was true, as it was no longer important considering that SG had rejected me.
On 13 March, my group was split up as the lecturer was on leave. I was allocated to a group while SG and TW were allocated to another. As a result, I once again couldn't meet SG and couldn't have an answer on whether she was upset with me over the group switch. On that afternoon, I had lunch with my group at IKEA. On 14 March, there was an acute care simulation session involving multiple groups. The lecturer randomly divided all students into two groups for that session. I was placed in the same group with SG, but she immediately moved to the other group without saying a word. I wondered if that was because SG wanted to avoid me. I had a talk with LS, and he confirmed my worst fear that SG was indeed upset about my group switch for ED Ortho. At that point, it seemed that I should switch back to my original group. However, my thought was that only by continuing to be in the same group with SG, I could have a chance of regaining the friendship I once had with SG. Of course, it could also backfire and further damage our relationship. I eventually decided to take a leap of faith by staying in SG's group for ED Ortho.
The next two weeks were the assistantships. My group and a few other groups were posted to Batu Pahat hospital. I followed PM to Batu Pahat on 17 March. We stayed at Crystal Inn in Batu Pahat and I was in the same room with LS. On 18 March, it was the summative in-course MOSLER assessment for Medicine. I didn't study for it at all since I had already passed all domains in at least 4 in-course MOSLER's. I got a case of Stokes-Adams Syndrome. I couldn't come up with the diagnosis no matter what, so the examiner gave me a fail for Clinical & Diagnostic Reasoning. I passed all other domains. On that night, I had dinner with my group and a few Stage 3 students. Throughout the time in Batu Pahat, SG once again didn't want to talk to me. GE was also in Batu Pahat and he had a good relationship with SG. Obviously, SG had forgiven GE for what happened during the radiology quiz previously and I was so jealous about that.
On 19 March, I stayed at the hotel and didn't go to the hospital since there were no teaching sessions. My MOSLER examiner found out about that and he was quite upset with me. In the afternoon, I went for lunch at Restoran Madinat Hadramawt myself. Later on that day, I had a talk with LS regarding SG. LS reiterated that SG wasn't happy about my group switch for ED Ortho, without giving any extra information. I then asked him to help me pass three messages to SG. The 1st was that I was sorry for giving her the chocolate, the 2nd was that I had understood that she rejected me and the 3rd was that I hoped I could still be friends with her. LS unwillingly agreed to pass the messages. On that evening, I had dinner with TW, PM, WB and CN. When I mentioned about my group switch for ED Ortho, TW and CN seemed to be unhappy about it as well. After dinner, I followed PM back to Johor Bahru.
On 21 March, my group jointly celebrated me and TW's birthdays at Tea Garden, Gelang Patah. SG bought the birthday cake. When I thanked her for that, she coldly replied that the cake was meant for everyone in our group. My actual birthday is on 23 March. Much to my disappointment, SG didn't wish me at all. Worse still, compared to the previous years, far fewer of those in my batch wished me this year. Later, I noticed that SG had blocked me on Instagram and Twitter. For the following week, only SG, TW, LS and GE decided to go to Batu Pahat. I actually wanted to go as well, but I dared not drive there myself. TW didn't want to take me there, and instead suggested that I take a public bus. On 24 March, I saw SG at the EcoNest car park, but she just ignored me. At that time, I had the feeling that LS might not have passed the three messages to SG. I felt that the only person who could help me was SF. She was a close friend of SG and a very supportive person.
I met SF at the NUMed library on 25 March. She wasn't very sure why SG was so upset with me lately, but she believed that it was due to my group switch for ED Ortho. She said that I should be able to continue being friends with SG as long as I put a stop on my feelings towards her. I then asked SF to pass to SG the same three messages that I asked LS to pass earlier and she agreed. Later, SF informed me that she had passed the messages and SG didn't give a particular response. Around that time, my close friend told me that many of the students in his group had known that SG rejected me, and it seemed that it was SG who told them about it. On 28 March, there was a session on advanced communication. During the session, I had to give explanation to a patient who had an infection from the insertion of a chest drain. Unlike in the past, SG didn't participate in giving me feedback after I was done. Even after SF passed my messages to SG, my relationship with SG still hadn't improved. I didn't have any more ideas on what I should do to save our friendship.
On 31 March, it was the start of the Emergency & Orthopaedics (ED Ortho) rotation. I was in the same group with SG, CN, WA, LS and WB for ED Ortho. For the first three weeks, my group had assistantships at the Emergency Department (ED) of HSI. As soon as I reached HSI, I saw SG, CN, and LS. I dared not approach them, but LS invited me to walk with them. Then much to my delight, SG started talking to me again. Later, we met the head of department who told us to create a timetable. On that afternoon, SG, CN and LS wanted to have lunch together and SG agreed to let me join them. As I didn't know the directions to the restaurant, LS followed me.
During the journey, LS suddenly said he knew that I told TW a fake story that I, SG and LS once planned to have dinner together and LS pulled out at the last minute. I had almost forgotten about that fake story and I suddenly remembered it at that time. Shocked by that, I simply denied it, but LS said he definitely believed TW instead of me. At that point, I finally understood everything. SG was so upset with me because I told TW the fake story that I and SG had a dinner together without anyone else. TW must have asked her whether the story was true. Contrary to my belief, my group switch for ED Ortho wasn't what made SG upset. Rather, she felt uncomfortable about being in the same group with me only after knowing about my fake story. After returning home, I gave some deep thoughts about everything. I then decided to message LS to admit and apologise about the fake story, but I dared not message SG. LS didn't reply to my message, so I assumed he was angry.
On 1 April, I went to the HSI ED in the morning, only to find that no one else in my group was there. I waited to see if they would be coming later, but they never showed up. At that point, I felt that my group mates might be isolating me. My initial refusal to admit about the fake story on the previous day must have made them really angry. I felt very sad and I blamed myself so much. FC, a doctor at the ED, asked me where my group mates were and all I could answer was "I don't know". She then asked me to phone them. I was very reluctant to do so since they were angry with me. Therefore, I told FC that I had a quarrel with them because I did something wrong. FC's reply was that as a doctor, I must be able to resolve any issues I have with my colleagues. However, she didn't force me to make the phone call. I returned home at 12 noon.
Later, LS informed me that he and the rest of our group would be going to the ED in the afternoon. He also told me that they had created a group timetable and asked me to send him my timetable so that he could help me submit it to the head of department. I asked LS if I could just go along with the group timetable but he didn't reply me, giving me further impression that they were isolating me. At 5:30pm, I was really surprised to see that I just got a missed call from SG. A few minutes later, WA phoned me and I quickly answered it. She told me that our group would be meeting at the 10th floor of EcoNest at 6pm to discuss about the timetable and I promised to attend it. I went down to the 10th floor at 6pm sharp. My group mates were already there and SG acknowledged my arrival. The discussion began with my group mates telling me the details of the group timetable. SG then invited me to carpool with them starting from the following day and I accepted the invitation.
After that, SG suddenly said to me that no matter what happened between us previously, she hoped we could work together as colleagues. She also apologised to me for making me feel isolated. Everyone in my group was watching my conversation with SG. As it turned out, FC confronted them on that afternoon after I told her about our quarrel. My group mates said that they weren't hating me and they never had the intention to isolate me. They had actually mentioned in front of me on the previous day that they would be going to the ED only in the afternoon but I didn't pay attention to that. SG then said that she indeed was very upset about the fake story I told TW, but now she is willing to move on from it. I apologised to her for that as well as for everything that had happened. I also apologised to everyone else in my group. With that, the crisis was finally resolved.
On 2 April, I and SG resumed carpooling. She was talking to me normally again. At the HSI ED, I and my group mates worked together quite well. We had a lot of opportunities to perform various kinds of clinical procedures. On 3 April, I and SG performed suturing on a real patient together under the guidance of a surgeon, and that was really fun. On 5 April, it was the NUMed Graduation Ball 2019, held at DoubleTree Hilton Hotel. Most of the students in my batch attended it. I sat in the same table with my close friend. Once again, the food and performances were great. I took two-person photos with most of the girls in my batch. However, I had to ask SG three times before she agreed to take a two-person photo with me. I was glad to have this ball in April, as it would have been very emotional if it was held after the final exams.
Around that time, I began doing revision for the WriSkE and SBA exams. On 9 April, NUMed opened the application for the teaching fellow post. I had been interested in the post ever since I first heard of it in 2018. However, the application involved writing a personal statement and curriculum vitae, which I felt was a daunting task. SG's rejection and the subsequent crisis also made me lose my self-confidence to some extent. On one occasion, LS was telling our group mates that he would be applying for the teaching fellow post. I then said that I was interested in applying as well, but LS ignored me and didn't continue to talk about it. In the end, I chose not to apply for the post.
Even though I and SG were carpooling, she wouldn't sit in the front seat of my car and she would tell me to take the back seat of her car. Whenever it was just me, SG and LS, they wouldn't want to have lunch with me. SG also didn't add me back on Facebook or unblock me on Instagram and Twitter. I could understand that SG needed more time. However, Stage 5 would be coming to an end soon so there might not be enough time for everything to return to normal, which made me feel so sad. Meanwhile, LS kept trying to provoke the situation. Honestly speaking, I was still deeply in love with SG at that time. There was 1 week of winter break from 20 to 27 April. I went back to Subang Jaya on 20 April. I then went back to Kulim on 21 April. On 24 April, I returned to Subang Jaya. On 27 April, I returned to Johor Bahru.
I watched Avengers: Endgame at TGV Cinemas, AEON Bukit Indah on 28 April. While it was a great movie, I felt that it could have been better. For the next two weeks, my group had teaching sessions for Orthopaedics and we were posted to HSI. My group was combined with another group which included NI and another two of SG's close friends. Much to my disappointment, SG chose to carpool with LS, NI and her other two friends and I couldn't join them as there wasn't enough space in the car. Since then, the amount of time I had with SG was quite limited, but she still talked to me normally whenever we met. I found Orthopaedics to be the most difficult among all subjects. The lecturer changed the venue of the teaching session on 30 April from HSI to HSA. I wasn't happy about that because I hated the environment at HSA.
On 8 May, the lecturer gave my group an extra teaching session at HSA. The cleaners were vacuuming the ward on that day so I had huge difficulties hearing what the lecturer was saying, making me hate HSA even more. LS who was the group leader requested the lecturer to change the venue of the next day's teaching session from HSI to HSA, without first discussing with my group. I voiced out my opposition to that, but LS just ignored me. I was really upset with LS and I made a report to NUMed about him abusing his power as the group leader. I refused to attend the session at HSA on 9 May. It turned out that SG also didn't attend it and I was so happy about that.
On 10 May, there was a session at the NUMed campus and that marked the end of both the ED Ortho rotation and HBP. After the session, I had a talk with SG. I apologised to her once again about everything that happened previously and she replied that she had moved on. Then, I asked her if I could add her back as a friend on Facebook. However, SG told me to wait until the final exams were over before sending her the friend request as she wanted to focus on the exams in the meantime. At that time, I was busy preparing for the WriSkE and SBA and I felt quite stressed. I mostly revised the textbooks and I didn't do any practice questions.
The Written Skills Examination (WriSkE) was on 21 May, while the Single Best Answer (SBA) exams were on 22 and 23 May. They weren't too difficult and I felt that I answered reasonably well. I was quite confident of passing both the WriSkE and SBA. After the SBA ended, I coincidentally met SG in the lift of EcoNest. She greeted me normally and we had a short conversation about the exams. On that night, I and my close friend had dinner in Permas Jaya. On the following days, I practised the MOSLER with my close friend, but I didn't take it seriously.
The End of Stage MOSLER assessments were on 3 and 4 June. On the first day, I got cases of MI, T1DM, COPD and Hypothyroidism. On the second day, I got cases of Femoral Fracture, CIN, Pneumothorax and Asthma. Overall, I felt that I performed alright in the MOSLER. The only case I found difficult was the Femoral Fracture. After the MOSLER ended, I approached SG and had a short conversation with her about the MOSLER. I and my close friend had dinner at Spiced Mala Hotpot, Bukit Indah to celebrate the end of the final exams. On 7 June, I watched X-Men: Dark Phoenix at TGV Cinemas, AEON Bukit Indah with my close friend.
I spent some time at the NUMed library and IT cluster every day, since I thought I would be leaving NUMed very soon. On 9 June, I sent SG a friend request on Facebook. I also sent her a message stating my hopes that she could accept my friend request so that we could keep in touch after graduating. I kept waiting, but SG never read my message nor responded to my friend request. On 10 June, it was the interview for the teaching fellow post application. At the library, I met a few students who were attending the interview. One of them was surprised that I didn't apply for the teaching fellow post as she felt I would be a good fit for the post.
On 13 June, the final results for Stage 5 was released. I passed the WriSkE and SBA. For the WriSkE, the pass mark was 65.4% and I scored 74.7%, while for the SBA, the pass mark was 60.8% and I scored 69.7%. However, I failed the End of Stage MOSLER. I only failed the Management domain by just 1 mark while I passed the other domains. This meant that I failed Stage 5 as a whole. Consequently, I couldn't graduate this year and would have to repeat the entire Stage 5. I didn't expect to fail and I felt so sad about it. A total of 22 students failed Stage 5, while SG passed Stage 5 successfully. Several of my friends sent me words of encouragement, but sadly SG didn't do so.
The fact that SG wouldn't accept my friend request on Facebook, wouldn't reply to my message and didn't console me for my failure in Stage 5 showed that she no longer considered me to be her friend. However, I didn't want to accept that fact at that time, as I was still having hopes that our friendship could recover. As I failed only one domain of the End of Stage MOSLER by 1 mark, my family told me to try appealing the results. However, after reading the feedback written by the examiners, I realised there was no grounds for an appeal, as the feedback clearly corresponded to the marks I got for each station. Therefore, I didn't submit the appeal.
The NUMed Congregation 2019 was held on 21 July. Even though I wasn't graduating this year, I still decided to attend it as an observer. I wanted to meet my friends in my batch as I knew we would have very little chance to meet again after that. Most importantly, I wanted to meet SG so that I could congratulate her and say some words to her. I was glad to be able to meet my close friends. One of them gave me a hug and I was so touched by that. Unfortunately, SG had already left when I arrived the venue. I also realised that many others in my batch didn't want to talk to me much. Since they had known about what happened between me and SG, they probably were looking down on me.
After the congregation, SG posted her graduation photos on Facebook. As she made the photos public, I could see them and I liked them. Right after that, SG declined my Facebook friend request and barred me from sending her any further friend requests. At that point, I accepted the truth that I could never be friends with SG again and I decided to put a stop on my feelings towards SG. Despite the resolution of the crisis on 1 April, it didn't have any long term significance and things never returned to normal. SG chose to forgive me only for the sake of FC, but she never intended to be friends with me again.
Looking back, my greatest mistake was saying that fake story to TW. The moment I did that, I had reached the point of no return. While most of the mistakes were on me, BH, LS and TW had their mistakes as well. They felt that the fake story I told TW was damaging to SG's image, but what about their acts of matchmaking SG and UP in front of everyone? That was certainly damaging to SG's image as well, and they had failed to maintain professional boundaries with UP as a lecturer. They wouldn't realise their own mistakes, yet they kept judging my mistakes. I definitely wouldn't be friends with them again moving forward. Worst of all, many others in my batch looked down on me simply because of what they said, without bothering to get my side of the story. As a result, I no longer valued my batch. Instead, I was looking forward to having a new beginning with the new batch in my repeat year of Stage 5.
Stage 5 2018/2019 surely hadn't been a great year for me. My experience with this year revolved around SG. After SG's rejection and the subsequent crisis, the remainder of this year became so dull and so meaningless. I definitely learnt many important life lessons that I would always remember in the future. Nevertheless, I found the course content of this year really interesting and intellectually stimulating. Before entering Stage 5, I had expected it to be very stressful. As it turned out, Stage 5 wasn't actually that stressful, although it was definitely the most difficult year in the MBBS course. The MOSLER had been my weak point since Stage 3 and that hadn't changed. I figured out that the main problem was that I lacked the depth of knowledge as I only studied each condition superficially when doing my revision. While having the depth of knowledge might not be that important for the PSA, WriSkE and SBA, it certainly was very important for the MOSLER. I definitely have to change my method of studying for my repeat year of Stage 5. I really hope that I would have a very much better experience in my repeat year of Stage 5 compared to this year.
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