Medical Education - My way forward

Over the years, I kept being asked this question "What do you want to specialise in?" I never had an answer to this question previously. Now, I have finally decided on what I want to specialise in. It's Medical Education!

Back in 2014, I chose to do Medicine because I genuinely thought that I would enjoy working as a clinical doctor and I genuinely wanted to contribute to the society. In Stage 1 of MBBS, I had been finding the job of a Medical Lecturer quite interesting based on my observation of the lecturers at NUMed. As I had always liked sharing my knowledge with others, teaching medical students is something I would enjoy. Medical Lecturers also have great work-life balance. Later, I found out that to become a Medical Lecturer, we must have Malaysian Medical Council (MMC) Full Registration, which requires completing housemanship.

During Stage 2 of MBBS, I discovered the truth about housemanship in Malaysia for the first time, that House Officers often face bullying, heavy workload and long working hours, often missing out on meals and sleep. Worse still, housemanship in Malaysia almost certainly would remain 2 years long for the foreseeable future rather than being shortened to 1 year as previously rumoured. That made me start fearing housemanship a lot, and I wished I would never have to go through it. Later, due to me finding the topics in Stage 2 of MBBS extremely tedious, I lost interest in MBBS and I even thought of quitting.

After I got into Stage 3 of MBBS, I regained my interest in studying MBBS and I no longer wanted to quit. However, there was an important caveat: I was not keen on joining housemanship after graduating, due to the terrible working conditions of housemanship. While I was confident that my MBBS degree would be accepted by many employers outside the medical field, the question was what job should I apply for? I struggled to think of a non-medical job that I would truly enjoy. It wouldn't be possible for me to become a Medical Lecturer without completing housemanship.

In late February 2019 when I was in Stage 5 of MBBS, a tragedy happened which then led to me having a huge crisis with my group mates in the 2014-2019 batch. The crisis completely ruined my experience for the remainder of Stage 5 and made most of my good memories in Stage 5 before that meaningless. I was so depressed and I couldn't focus on my studies. Eventually, I failed my final exams in June 2019 by just 1 mark. That meant I failed Stage 5 as a whole and had to repeat the year.

For my repeat year of Stage 5, I put in my efforts to get to know and build a good relationship with my new friends in the 2015-2020 batch. I sought to make myself a better person so that my new friends would look up onto me. I wanted to have great memories with them and erase my bad memories from the previous year. By December 2019, I had become very close to them. In early March 2020, we were posted to Kluang for a week. There, we could spend some good time together for the first time and I cherished it so much.

I really looked forward to our second week in Kluang. Unfortunately, the Covid-19 pandemic started at that time and the MCO was implemented, resulting in the cancellation of all clinical postings and campus teaching, and all teaching sessions were moved online. Not only I missed out on the week in Kluang with my friends, I couldn't even see them in person. Worse still, it seemed that the MCO would last till the end of the academic year, meaning that I wouldn't get to meet my friends again as we would have graduated by then. I felt so emotional about that.

In April 2020, one of my friends created a WhatsApp group for those who were interested in applying for the NUMed Teaching Fellow post for the following academic year. As I was interested in Medical Education, I joined the WhatsApp group. To my delight, several of my friends in the 2015-2020 batch were interested in applying as well. I thought, if I get the Teaching Fellow post, I would get to be with my friends for the upcoming year, replacing the time lost due to the MCO. I told myself that I must work hard to get the post. In August 2020, I successfully graduated with the MBBS degree.

In September 2020, the application for the Teaching Fellow post was finally open. After putting in my best efforts to write a good CV and personal statement and to perform well in the interview, I succeeded in getting a 9-month Teaching Fellow post. However, I soon found out that among my friends who applied for the Teaching Fellow post, only 2 succeeded in getting a place and both of them weren't that close to me at that time. There were several other friends closer to me whom I hoped would get a place, but they didn't. I was a bit disappointed, and that contributed to me experiencing a brief period of adjustment disorder when I started the Teaching Fellow post in October 2020, during which I felt a bit stressed and didn't appear so enthusiastic about the job.

Nevertheless, my interest in Medical Education gave me the confidence that the job would still be enjoyable for me. Indeed, after I started delivering teaching sessions as a Teaching Fellow, I realised how much I loved teaching. I got out of the adjustment disorder quickly enough. I already could teach quite well from the first teaching session. As I gained more teaching experience over time, my teaching skills improved. I always sought to deliver my teaching such that my students would find it interesting and easy to understand. I took every feedback from my students seriously, as I was eager to improve my teaching. Later, I started becoming very close to my Teaching Fellow colleagues, which made me enjoy the job even more.

Every day, I was looking forward to teaching my students, and I always wanted to teach them as much as possible. Whenever I was allocated a teaching session, I would feel so enthusiastic about it. Conversely, when some of the teaching sessions were cancelled due to the Covid-19, I was so disappointed about that. I never complained about having too many teaching sessions, instead I complained about having too few teaching sessions. The Teaching Fellow job has evolved from something that I hope would give me the opportunity to be with my friends to something that I truly love on its own right.

Soon, I loved Medical Education so much that I want to keep working as a Medical Lecturer for the rest of my life. I knew pretty well that to become a Medical Lecturer, I must have MMC Full Registration which requires completing housemanship. Considering how stressful housemanship is and that I was not keen on joining housemanship since a long time ago, the question was whether it's worth it for me to do housemanship just so that I could become a Medical Lecturer? I hesitated on that for quite some time.

In early May 2021, I firmly decided that the answer is a yes, as it's so clear that there's no job in this world other than a Medical Lecturer that I would enjoy more. Pursuing Medical Education is my one ultimate aim, and I have no second thoughts. I decided I must maximise my chances of completing housemanship successfully by choosing a hospital with a less stressful work environment. When my Teaching Fellow post ended in July 2021, no doubt I was feeling very emotional. However, I was also hopeful that it wouldn't be too long before I return as a Medical Lecturer.

There's a stigma that Medical Lecturers are "doctors who are bad at clinical practice". This is something even some lecturers have admitted themselves. The society expects medical graduates to become practising doctors. Some people also think that it would be a waste for me to study MBBS for 6 years only to end up being a lecturer instead of a clinical doctor. But I don't bother about that at all. If I don't get full support for my decision, so be it. If some members of the society look down on me, so be it. If I have wasted my 6 years studying for MBBS, so be it. The only thing that matters is for me to do what I really enjoy.

My experience working as a Teaching Fellow and my Associate Fellow of the Higher Education Academy (AFHEA) and Fellow of the Higher Education Academy (FHEA) qualifications will certainly help me achieve my dream of becoming a Medical Lecturer. I must persevere with housemanship no matter how challenging it is, as that's essential for me to become a Medical Lecturer.

If you liked this story, you may want to read this too:

https://www.daniellimjj.com/2025/03/my-journey-towards-general-practice.html

Me experiencing adjustment disorder

I can still remember clearly my first day working as a Teaching Fellow at NUMed on 1 October 2020. You probably would think that the first day was full of excitement for me. After all, I had been hoping to get the Teaching Fellow post for so long and I finally got it.

However, the reality was different. I actually felt rather stressed at that time, and I was worried that couldn't cope with the job. It also affected my performance during the first week of work. I probably was experiencing what is known as adjustment disorder in psychiatry.

So, why did I have adjustment disorder? There were several factors contributing to that.

1. 10 busy days

The 10 days from 21 September to 30 September had been really busy for me. On 21 and 22 September, I was eagerly waiting to be called for interview. I finally received the interview invitation on 23 September. I went to my other house in Kota Kemuning on 24 September to get a good internet connection for the online interview which was on 25 September. After I succeeded in the interview, I went to Kulim for a night on 26 September to visit my grandparents. On 27 September and 28 September, I was busy arranging my accommodation in Johor Bahru and packing my belongings. I returned to Johor Bahru on 29 September. On 30 September, I attended an induction session with a lecturer. Throughout the 10 days, I didn't have enough rest. Therefore, I was quite exhausted when I began my Teaching Fellowship on 1 October.

2. New colleagues 

Many of my friends in my 6th year of MBBS had applied for the Teaching Fellow post. However, only 2 got the post, and I wasn't really close to them at that time. Besides, I didn't know the other 4 of my Teaching Fellow colleagues at all. I needed time to get to know and get close to my colleagues.

3. Accommodation issues

When I moved into my new unit at EcoNest at that time, some of the facilities weren't ready yet. I didn't have a table in my room. That was a real inconvenience, especially when I needed to use my laptop. There was also no water filter in my unit, so I had to keep buying bottled water.

4. Covid-19

The Covid-19 situation in Malaysia was rapidly worsening at that time, after the Sabah state election. The number of new Covid cases daily went back up to 3 digits, and there were signs that it would continue to increase. I was worried that it would lead to the NUMed campus being required to close again.

5. A new role

While I had been at NUMed for 6 years and I was really familiar with the place, being a Teaching Fellow is still a very different role from being a student. In addition, this was the first time where I got a job in my life. It took time for me to adjust to my new role.

6. Getting back to work

Since the end of my MBBS final exams in late July, I had been relaxing and doing nothing (except for the 10 busy days). In particular, I slept for as long as I like every day. Getting back to work, even something I really enjoy, was a change that I had to adapt to.

7. Cyber attack

Newcastle University UK had suffered a severe cyber attack and was still recovering from it at that time. Consequently, I didn't get my staff ID and email in the beginning. I could only log in to campus PCs using my previous student ID, and there was a long wait every time I log in. I also didn't have access to the Medical Learning Environment (MLE).

8. No PGCertMedEd

In the previous years, NUMed Teaching Fellows on a 9-month contract were offered the PGCertMedEd qualification. However, it wasn't the case for this year as the PGCertMedEd programme was suspended due to the Covid-19 pandemic. Initially, I didn't bother much about that. But at that time, one of my friend who was the previous year's Teaching Fellow posted a picture of her PGCertMedEd. The certificate looked really nice, which made me feel envious.

9. Phone issues

My Pixel 2 phone was having battery issues. There is a repair shop in Johor Bahru which I was confident could fix the problem. I contacted the shop at that time. However, they refused to repair my phone because the Pixel 2 is not officially sold in Malaysia.

Thankfully though, I recovered from the adjustment disorder quickly enough. By the time I started delivering teaching sessions on 5 October, I was really enjoying my Teaching Fellow post and I no longer felt stressed. Since then, the job has always been enjoyable for me.

Thoughts on intercalation

Intercalation is where medical students take a year out of their medical degree to study another Bachelors or Masters degree that is still related to medicine. After intercalating, they will return to complete the remainder of their medical studies and eventually graduate with both the medical degree and the intercalated degree. Examples of intercalated degrees include Pharmacology, Biochemistry, Genetics, Neuroscience, Immunobiology, Transplantation, Clinical Research, Public Health and Medical Education.

Intercalation is relatively common in the UK. Almost all UK medical schools offer intercalation opportunities to their students, some medical schools such as Cambridge and UCL even make intercalation compulsory. However, intercalation is generally unpopular in Asian countries including Malaysia. At NUMed, students can choose to intercalate after completing Year 2 or Year 4 of MBBS, but the intercalation has to be done at Newcastle University UK. In the 2014-2019 batch, not a single student did intercalation, while in the 2015-2020 batch, only 2 students intercalated.

When I was in Stage 2 of MBBS, I grew tired of medicine after I kept having to learn anatomy which I really hated. I wasn't looking forward to Stage 3, instead I thought of taking a break from medicine by doing intercalation. However, I was under the JPA scholarship and I wasn't sure if JPA would allow me to intercalate. My family and friends were also unsupportive of the idea of doing intercalation, as they thought it's a waste of time and money. Eventually, I chose not to intercalate. I don't regret that, as doing intercalation solely to take a break from medicine isn't a good idea. I regained interest in medicine after entering Stage 3.

Then, I once again thought of doing intercalation after completing Stage 4 of MBBS. I was quite enthusiastic in my studies at that time, and I felt that the additional knowledge and skills gained from doing intercalation would be very valuable. I also really liked the idea getting an additional degree just by studying an extra year. At that time, I had found out that JPA does allow its scholars to intercalate. The position of my family and friends on intercalation hadn't changed, but I wouldn't let that influence my decision. I was particularly interested in intercalating for a Master of Medical Education, though I was fine with doing other intercalated degrees as well.

However, there were two major issues. First, I was concerned about having to study at Newcastle University UK. The environment in UK is very different compared to that in Malaysia, so I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to adapt to it. Therefore, I didn't even do my Electives in UK. It was only after I went to UK for my SSC3 that I realised adapting to life in UK is much easier than I thought. Second, doing intercalation meant that I would have to separate with my friends in the 2014-2019 batch. I had been with them for so long and I valued them a lot, so I really wanted to complete Stage 5 with them.

I eventually decided not to do intercalation and I proceeded to Stage 5. Unfortunately, it turned out to be a terrible year, all because of a tragedy and the subsequent crisis which my group mates contributed to. I had valued my group mates so much, but they gave me such a bad experience in return. I ended up failing Stage 5 and having to repeat the year. In my repeat year of Stage 5, I made many new friends in the 2015-2020 batch who give me a great experience throughout the year. After passing the repeat year, I applied for the NUMed Teaching Fellow post and successfully got it. Throughout my teaching fellowship, I really enjoy teaching my students and I have a great relationship with my colleagues.

Looking back, I really should have done intercalation for a Master of Medical Education after Stage 4. By intercalating, I would have avoided the terrible year. After that, I would join the 2015-2020 batch in Stage 5. I would still get to meet those new friends and have a great experience with them. With the additional knowledge and skills I gained from intercalating, it's very likely that I would have passed Stage 5 in my first attempt. I would still graduate at the same time. The Master of Medical Education degree would then give me a huge advantage in my application for the NUMed Teaching Fellow post. I would still get to enjoy my teaching fellowship. Everything would have been perfect for me. 

The 2016-2021 batch of students are really unfortunate in the sense that they missed out on the opportunity to do their SSC3 and Electives in UK because of the Covid-19 pandemic. However, 4 students from that batch chose to do intercalation, and they are the only ones who get to study in UK. I am glad that they got rewarded for their decision.

Currently, medical graduates with an intercalated degree have an advantage when applying for the UK Foundation Programme. However, the UK General Medical Council has decided that it will no longer be the case starting from 2023. There are various reactions to this. Personally, I am neutral about this. On one hand, it's good to reward students for their efforts in doing intercalation, but on the other hand, doing intercalation solely for the sake of gaining an advantage in the UK Foundation Programme application is a bad idea.

I don't agree with medical schools that make intercalation compulsory for all students. There are legitimate reasons why a student may not want to intercalate. However, I do think that medical schools should actively promote the benefits of intercalation and give all students who wish to intercalate the opportunity to do so. In addition, students who are interested in intercalating should be given the encouragement and support by their family and friends. Intercalation is definitely not a waste of time and money. If you are thinking of doing intercalation, my advice is to go for it!

A blessing in disguise

I failed Stage 5 of my NUMed MBBS course in 2019. You may think it's really unfortunate for me. However, I actually consider it to be a blessing in disguise. Why is that the case?

My position has always been that medical school isn't just about getting to the destination, but also about making the most out of the journey. Therefore, I have always wanted to enjoy every moment and to have a lot of good memories in NUMed. In particular, I definitely want my final year to be enjoyable, since it's the year that I will remember most after I graduate.

Stage 4 had been a wonderful year for me, and I was hoping that Stage 5 would be even better. A week before I began Stage 5 in late August 2018, the student group list for semester 1 was released. Looking at it, I thought that Stage 5 would be a great year for me.

Semester 1 of Stage 5 turned out to be really enjoyable. In fact, it was a whole new experience for me compared to the previous years. I loved the group I was in so much, and I really hoped that I would get to be in the same group for semester 2. In the end, my wish was granted, the student grouping remained the same for semester 2.

The beginning of semester 2 was just like semester 1, I had a really great time. The thought of having to separate with everyone when we graduate in a few months time made me feel very sad, so I made sure to treasure every moment I had with my group.

However, a tragedy happened on 27 February 2019 which led to a huge crisis. That changed everything. Out of sudden, the remainder of Stage 5 became so dull and so meaningless. Worse still, the good memories I had during semester 1 of Stage 5 also became meaningless because of that. Essentially, there was nothing left in Stage 5 that I would consider as good memories.

It didn't help that some of the people in the group I loved so much actually contributed to the tragedy and they also had some part in perpetuating the crisis. Even though the crisis got resolved eventually, things wouldn't be the same ever again. There was no way I could have any more good memories with that group.

Perhaps I should have moved to a different group. However, I was already in my last rotation, so it was very unlikely that NUMed would allow a group change. Even if I could switch to another group, with only a few weeks remaining in Stage 5 and everyone focusing on the final exams, I would only have little time with the new group.

At that point, it seemed like I was destined to graduate without any good memories in Stage 5. That would be really sad as I knew I would often think back of Stage 5 after graduating. I thought, if only I could have another year at NUMed with a new group of people, how great that would be.

I really regretted my actions that led to the whole crisis, but unfortunately it was already too late. In early April 2019, I began doing revision for the final exams. However, I couldn't really concentrate on doing revision as I was affected by the crisis.

At that time, NUMed opened the application for the 2019/2020 teaching fellow post. I thought of applying for it, but the crisis made me lose my self-confidence. Someone in my group also hinted that I shouldn't bother applying as I wouldn't stand a chance of getting the post. In the end, I didn't make an application, which I later regretted.

The Stage 5 final results was released in June 2019. It turned out that I failed the End of Stage MOSLER, which meant failing Stage 5 as a whole. Consequently, I had to repeat Stage 5 by joining the 2015-2020 batch. I didn't expect to fail, and I was so sad about that.

Then I realised something. By repeating Stage 5, I would get what I had wanted: An extra year at NUMed with a whole new group of people. I decided that I would make the most out of the opportunity to have good memories with them. That helped make me feel better about my failure.

Everyone else in my group passed successfully, so they would no longer be with me during my repeat year of Stage 5. After the whole crisis resulting from the 27 February 2019 tragedy, I certainly wouldn't feel sad about having to separate with them.

I began my repeat year of Stage 5 in late August 2019. I started making new friends in the new batch. I had never been more excited to make new friends, as in the past I had always tended to only mix with the people I knew well. I also sought to make myself a better person, who would be looked up to by my new friends.

In my repeat year of Stage 5, I have some really nice friends who give me a great experience throughout the year. I definitely have a lot of good memories with them, and that enabled me to fully move on from the 27 February 2019 tragedy. This year is surely very much better than my first year of Stage 5.

After I successfully passed my repeat year of Stage 5 in August 2020, I applied for the 2020/2021 NUMed teaching fellow post. Thanks to the experience I gained from teaching my friends during the repeat year of Stage 5, I successfully got offered the teaching fellow post.

Throughout my teaching fellowship at NUMed, I really enjoy teaching my students and they like my teaching too. I also have a very good relationship with my teaching fellow colleagues. I certainly have lots of great memories with my students and colleagues.

Now, I can say that it's definitely a blessing in disguise for me to fail and repeat Stage 5. My most favourite years in NUMed are my repeat year of Stage 5 and my teaching fellowship year, which wouldn't have happened if I passed Stage 5 the first time. I will keep remembering the great memories in these two years for a very long time to come. A small price to pay for salvation!

The tragedies of 14 March, 2019 & 2020

Back in 2013, 14 March was my Day of Hope, where I regained hope on my results for the SPM examination. From 2014 to 2018, 14 March was uneventful.

However, in both 2019 and 2020, 14 March was a really terrible day for me.

14 March 2019 was during my 5th year of MBBS. A tragedy had happened about 2 weeks ago which triggered a crisis. Since then, the situation had been improving and I was quite hopeful that everything would return to normal soon. However on that day, I realised that I just screwed up once again, triggering the 2nd wave of the crisis. I wasn't sure what I actually did wrong, and my group mates who knew what happened refused to tell me about it. Worse still, my group mates made a one-sided judgement about me and didn't give me the opportunity to explain. The 2nd wave of the crisis made the remainder of 5th year so dull and meaningless and it ruined most of my memories in that year. The crisis got resolved eventually, but that didn't have any long-term significance.

14 March 2020 was during my 6th year of MBBS. The Covid-19 pandemic had begun some time ago. On the week before that, I and my group mates were posted to Kluang. We had a great time there and I was really looking forward to our second week in Kluang. However on that day, NUMed announced the cancellation of all clinical placements due to the rapidly worsening Covid-19 situation. I could no longer go to Kluang in the following week because of that, which made me feel really sad. Worse still, later on that day I and my group mates were told that we got exposed to a Covid-19 patient when we were in Kluang, which required us to undergo home quarantine for 2 weeks. Soon afterwards, NUMed cancelled all campus teaching due to the implementation of the MCO. As a result, I couldn't meet my friends for several months. Campus teaching eventually resumed in early July 2020, but only for 2 weeks.

Both years, 14 March marked the start of a huge change to my experience for the remainder of the academic year. However, there is a very important difference between the two. The 14 March 2019 incident made me despise my 5th year group mates, while the 14 March 2020 incident made me cherish my 6th year group mates so much more.

I pray that 14 March 2021 will be a good day.

My experience with the Situational Judgement Test (SJT)

The Situational Judgement Test (SJT) is an aptitude test taken by medical students and graduates as part of the application for the 2-year UK Foundation Programme (UKFP) and the Foundation Year 2 (F2) Stand-alone Programme. Applicants are ranked based on the SJT score.

In the past, the SJT was a paper-based exam held only in UK. UK medical students would take it at their own medical schools, NUMed students had to sit for it at Newcastle University UK, while students from non-UK medical schools had to sit for it at an exam centre in London.

I had applied for UKFP 2019 and UKFP 2020. Both times, my application got withdrawn because I didn't take the SJT. I was happy to travel to UK for the SJT, especially when I hadn't explored UK enough during my elective in Stage 4 of MBBS. However, the fact was that flying to UK and back would cost a lot of money and I didn't want to waste it.

In February 2020, the UK Foundation Programme Office (UKFPO) announced a change to the delivery of the SJT. The SJT is now held either at Pearson VUE centres or through online. This is to help encourage more foreign doctors to apply for UKFP to address the shortage of doctors in UK caused by Brexit. The Covid-19 pandemic hadn't started when the decision was made for the change. The format of questions for the SJT was also changed. Previously, the SJT only had ranking and multiple-choice questions, but now, rating questions have been added.

When I applied for UKFP 2021, I could finally sit for the SJT. The new delivery of the SJT certainly makes it more accessible for NUMed students and graduates. However, it has its issues as well. There are no Pearson VUE centres in Malaysia and the nearest one is in Singapore. Travelling to Singapore was difficult due to the Covid-19 situation.

Therefore, the only option for me was to sit for the SJT online. To prevent cheating, it has to be taken in a quiet room using a proctoring software. It can feel quite creepy to be monitored by the proctor through the webcam all the time during the exam. There's also computer and internet connection issues to consider about.

In my opinion, the ideal solution would be to let UK medical schools, including NUMed, deliver the SJT in the paper-based format like previously, while allowing those from non-UK medical schools to take the SJT online or at Pearson VUE centres. If only the UKFPO is willing to consider this.

My original plan was to take the SJT in my room at EcoNest. However, the internet connection at EcoNest was rather unstable. Thankfully, NUMed provided individual rooms with computers on campus for those who were taking the SJT. The proctoring software is still required as NUMed is not able to invigilate the exam.

Although officially there is no pass or fail in the SJT for the 2-year UKFP, scores below a certain threshold are considered exceptionally low SJT scores, which is essentially a fail as those with such a score would be required to attend a review.

I definitely wanted to pass the SJT and I hoped to get a score as high as possible. To prepare for the SJT, I used these two books: Oxford Assess and Progress Situational Judgement Test and Get Ahead! The Situational Judgement Test. I did the SJT practice questions on the UKFPO website and on PassMedicine. I also went through the SJT revision resources provided by NUMed.

I decided to take the SJT at NUMed on 17 December 2020. The SJT was 2 hours and 20 minutes long and it went smoothly without any issues. The questions were moderately difficult and I felt that I answered them fairly well. However, I ran out of time before I could answer the last 2 questions.

On 11 March 2021, the SJT results for UKFP 2021 was released. I passed the SJT successfully with a score of 35.5 out of 50. The mean score was 39.4, so my score was below average. However, I still scored high enough to be allocated to my first ranked foundation school, Northern. Therefore, I was quite satisfied with my score.

I withdrew my UKFP 2021 offer in June 2021. Subsequently, I began my house officer training at Kluang hospital in August 2021. However, I decided to apply for UKFP 2022 as a backup option. I had to sit for the SJT through online again.

As my house in Kluang didn't have a stable internet connection, I chose to take the SJT at NUMed. I travelled to Johor Bahru and took the SJT at NUMed on 13 December 2021. I found the questions a bit easier compared to the previous year and I managed to complete all questions within the time limit. There were no technical issues.

On 10 March 2022, the SJT results for UKFP 2022 was released. I got a score of 39.2 out of 50, which is a significant improvement from the previous year. Once again, I got allocated to Northern which is my first ranked foundation school. I am definitely happy with my score.

I withdrew from the UKFP 2022 in July 2022. After I completed the 3rd posting of my house officer training at Kluang hospital in December 2022, I became eligible for full registration with the UK General Medical Council (GMC). I decided to apply for the F2 Stand-alone Programme 2023. Once again, I had to sit for the SJT.

The SJT was first introduced for the F2 Stand-alone Programme in 2021. It's also held either at Pearson VUE centres or through online. Unlike the SJT for the 2-year UKFP which has rating, ranking and multiple-choice questions, the SJT for the F2 Stand-alone Programme only has rating questions. Getting into the F2 Stand-alone Programme is much more competitive compared to the 2-year UKFP, so only those who get a very high score in the SJT will be shortlisted and they will have to attend an interview.

Now that I had a stable internet connection at my house in Kluang, I chose to take the SJT at home. The SJT was on 1 March 2023. I found the questions being equivalent in difficulty compared to that of the SJT for UKFP 2022. I could finish answering all questions within the time limit and there were no technical issues.

On 28 March 2023, the SJT results for F2 Stand-alone Programme 2023 was released. I successfully got a very high score of 368 out of 431. With that, I got shortlisted for the interview. I am definitely very delighted about my score.

The interview was held online through Microsoft Teams on 18 April 2023. I felt that I performed fairly well in the interview. The results of the interview was released on 26 April 2023. I passed the interview with a score of 71% and I was ranked 149. A total of 157 places were available for the F2 Stand-alone Programme 2023, enabling me to get a place successfully. I was offered a place in the Northern foundation school.

In June 2023, the UKFPO decided to abolish the SJT for the 2-year UKFP starting from 2024. Instead, every UKFP applicant will be given a random computer-generated ranking. Personally, I think this is a very bad move. The SJT has always been the fairest way to rank UKFP applicants. The change means that UKFP applicants will not have any control over the ranking they will get, it will be purely based on luck. However, the SJT will remain for the F2 Stand-alone Programme.

At one point, I wanted to quit Medicine

Currently, I have completed my MBBS degree and I am working as a Teaching Fellow at NUMed. Here, I would like to reveal a secret: At one point, I wanted to quit Medicine!

Stage 1 of MBBS was quite enjoyable for me. However, one thing I didn't like about Stage 1 was that the studies kept getting more and more difficult. My score in the exams fell from 84.5% in Progress 1 to 72.9% in Progress 2 and 68.3% in Progress 3. I didn't feel good about that, even though I still got a safe pass. I blamed it on the fact that there were too many subjects we had to learn in Stage 1.

When I found out that there were only two subjects in Stage 2, TSM for semester 1 and CSIM1 for semester 2, I was so happy, thinking that Stage 2 would be quite easy. I viewed Stage 2 as a new beginning, and I set myself the target of regaining a score above 80% in the Stage 2 exams.

However on the first day of Stage 2, the lecturer mentioned that vast majority of the topics in TSM are about anatomy, which made me quite shocked. Anatomy was actually my weak point in Stage 1, which contributed to the decline in my exam performance.

In order to achieve my target in the Stage 2 exams, I tried putting in efforts to improve my knowledge in anatomy. I revised anatomy in more detail, and I made sure to prepare well before attending every anatomy practical session. However, I found anatomy extremely tedious. Anatomy mostly had to be studied through memorising rather than understanding, but I really hated memorising things.

I just couldn't study TSM for long hours, as I would get so bored that I had to stop and do something else. I kept reminding myself of my target in the exams, but that didn't help. Worse still, everyone in my group was really focused on the studies, so we had little activities together unlike during Stage 1. Consequently, Stage 2 became a really boring year.

At that point, I began to lose interest in the MBBS course, though I still didn't want to acknowledge that fact. As I didn't study consistently, I eventually scored 71.9% in the Stage 2 Progress 1 exam, failing to reach my target of 80%. I was quite unhappy about that.

At the start of Stage 2 semester 2, the lecturer said that CSIM1 is a subject many students find very difficult. I didn't quite believe that. After taking a look at the topics in CSIM1, I found out that they largely had to be studied through understanding instead of memorising, as opposed to TSM. As I liked to study by understanding, I felt that CSIM1 would be easier and more interesting than TSM.

However, I didn't study anything in the following months, whether CSIM1 or TSM. After the terrible experience with my studies in the previous semester, I just refused to get back to studying. I only focused on doing the Stage 2 Assignments.

In late April 2016, I had no choice but to start my revision for the Stage 2 Progress 2 exam which would be in 5 weeks. With such little time remaining, I had to study very long hours every day. To save time, I only had two meals each day, one of them being instant noodles.

I began my revision with CSIM1. Luckily, CSIM1 wasn't that difficult for me thanks to my study method. I finished revising it in less than 3 weeks, despite the fact that I was studying it for the first time. That might be an amazing feat, but I had no time to celebrate it at all. I still had to revise for TSM, and there was only less than 3 weeks until the exam.

While my revision for CSIM1 was quite stressful, at least the topics were interesting. TSM would be a whole different story. I could clearly remember how boring the topics in TSM were. Worse still, I had forgotten most of what I learnt in the previous semester, so I would have to revise everything in TSM all over again.

At that point, I realised that I was no longer interested in Medicine. I started thinking of quitting MBBS. However, I was aware of the consequences of that. If I were to quit at that point, I would only get a Certificate of Higher Education which would be useless for finding a job. I felt lost and I wasn't sure what I should do next. I dared not talk to anyone about that, as I feared that others would look down on me.

I decided that I should focus on passing Stage 2 first and think about everything else later. I forced myself to revise TSM, no matter how much I hated it. I certainly experienced very high levels of stress at that time. In the end, I was able to finish revising everything in both CSIM1 and TSM just in time for the Stage 2 Progress 2 exam, which felt like a miracle. After all the hard work, I could answer reasonably well in the exam. I scored 64.7% which was still a safe pass.

At that time, the question of whether I should quit MBBS came up in my mind again. Having passed Stage 2 of MBBS, I would be given a Diploma of Higher Education if I choose to quit, which would still be of little value when it comes to looking for a job. After careful considerations, I decided that I had no choice but to carry on with the MBBS course. At the minimum, I had to pass Stage 3, after which I could quit with a Bachelor of Medical Studies. 

I expected that Stage 3 would be far worse than Stage 2 since it's a clinical year. I thought of taking a break from Medicine for a year by doing intercalation. However, my family and friends were unsupportive of the idea of intercalating, as they felt that it's a waste of time and money. In the end, I had to give up on doing intercalation.

Throughout the summer break, I fully relaxed myself and I didn't want to think about anything related to Medicine. I certainly refused to follow my lecturers' advice to do some preparation for Stage 3. I treasured every single moment of my break, but it still felt so short. When the break ended in late August 2016, I was so unwilling to return to NUMed and start Stage 3.

In the beginning of Stage 3, I didn't engage well with the teaching sessions and I didn't study anything, due to my lack of interest in Medicine. I started studying only in November 2016. At that time, I realised that the topics in Stage 3 are so different compared to Stage 2. Stage 3 is about clinical medicine, which I found very interesting.

That made me regain interest in Medicine. I no longer wanted to quit MBBS since then. However, I was already left behind in my studies by quite a lot and I struggled to catch up. I lacked some of the very basic knowledge and skills required for Stage 3.

Consequently, I failed the semester 1 formative SBA exam and I faced difficulties with the in-course MOSLER's during semester 2. I merely got a borderline pass for the Stage 3 SBA exam in July 2017, though I managed to get a much better score for the resit exam in September 2017 after NUMed annulled the July exam. It was only in Stage 4 that I managed to fully recover.

Now, I am so glad that I persevered and didn't actually quit MBBS back then. I still hate anatomy a lot. Thankfully, I didn't have to learn much anatomy during Stage 3, 4 and 5. I certainly don't want to specialise in Surgery or Orthopaedics as it requires a lot of knowledge in anatomy.

In the new NUMed MBBS curriculum, Year 1 and 2 are mostly case-based, with the topics of TSM and CSIM1 incorporated into the cases. As a Teaching Fellow, I always do my best to make the teaching of those topics interesting and easy to understand. Hopefully, this will give my students a better experience with the MBBS course.

If you liked this story, you may want to read this too:

https://www.daniellimjj.com/2021/05/medical-education.html

My journey to becoming a NUMed Teaching Fellow

NUMed offers several Teaching Fellow posts for newly qualified NUMed MBBS graduates each year. Teaching Fellows contribute to the development, coordination and delivery of the teaching for the NUMed MBBS course. I first heard of the Teaching Fellow post in 2018, and I have been quite interested in it since then. As I have always liked to share my knowledge and experiences with others, I am sure that I would enjoy it a lot. However, I knew that it surely wouldn't be easy to get the post.

In April 2019 when I was in Stage 5 of MBBS, NUMed opened the application for the Teaching Fellow post. I definitely thought of applying for it. However, the application involved writing a personal statement and curriculum vitae, which I felt was a daunting task. Just a few weeks before that, I had a huge crisis with my group mates. The crisis made me lose my self-confidence to some extent. On one occasion, one of my group mates mentioned that he would be applying for the Teaching Fellow post. I then said that I was interested in applying as well, but he ignored me and didn't continue to talk about it. In the end, I chose not to apply for the post. 

After the Stage 5 final exams in June 2019, I spent some time at the NUMed library every day, since I thought I would be leaving NUMed very soon. On 10 June 2019, it was the interview for the Teaching Fellow post application. At the library, I met a few students who were attending the interview. One of them was quite surprised that I didn't apply for the Teaching Fellow post, as she felt I would be a good fit for the job. That made me feel a bit regret about not applying for the post, but it seemed to be already too late. My group mate who applied for the post wasn't successful in his application.

On 13 June 2019, the Stage 5 final results was released, and it turned out that I failed the final exams. Consequently, I couldn't graduate in 2019 and I had to repeat the entire Stage 5. Later, I realised that I would have another opportunity to apply for the Teaching Fellow post in the following year, and I told myself that I mustn't miss out on it again. My family members were very supportive of my decision to apply for the post. Throughout my repeat year of Stage 5, I often took the initiative to assist my friends who needed help in certain subject areas, using the knowledge I gained from my previous year.

In April 2020, one of my friend who was a NUMed Teaching Fellow created a WhatsApp group for all those who were thinking of applying for the post. I joined the group and found out that many of my close friends were also interested in applying. That made the Teaching Fellow post even more attractive for me. However, due to the disruptions caused by Covid-19, there was no news about the Teaching Fellow post application for a long time. I was a bit worried that there might be no Teaching Fellow recruitment in 2020, but a few lecturers told me that NUMed was still planning to go ahead with the recruitment, just that they were waiting for the approval from Newcastle University UK.

On 6 August 2020, I passed my repeat year of Stage 5 and graduated from the NUMed MBBS course successfully. On 10 September 2020, the application for the Teaching Fellow post was finally open. To apply, I had to write a personal statement and curriculum vitae. The submission deadline was 18 September 2020. There were two options, a 3-month post or a 9-month post. I definitely chose the 9-month post. I knew that if I apply for the 3-month post, I would regret it when the 3 months is up, just like how I regretted my decision to not do my Elective 1 in UK during Stage 4 of MBBS. I put a lot of efforts in writing a good personal statement and curriculum vitae.

Eventually, I was really satisfied with my personal statement and curriculum vitae and I submitted them to NUMed on 16 September 2020. I was very confident of being shortlisted for interview. The shortlist was supposed to be out on 21 September 2020, but I didn't hear anything from NUMed on that day. On 22 September 2020, much to my disappointment, NUMed informed me that my application for the Teaching Fellow post was unsuccessful, without giving any reason. I really couldn't understand why I wasn't shortlisted for interview. I definitely wrote the personal statement and curriculum vitae very well. I also fulfilled nearly all of the essential and desirable criteria stated in the Person specification. The only exception was that I didn't have a Master of Medical Education, which no other applicant had anyway.

After giving it some thoughts, I decided to make an appeal as I didn't want to give up so easily. I sent NUMed an email where I emphasised my fulfilment of the essential and desirable criteria and urged them to give me the opportunity to attend an interview. Several of my close friends gave me words of encouragement for that and I really appreciated it. The shortlisted applicants had their interviews on 23 September 2020. On that evening, I received an email from NUMed. It turned out that NUMed decided to invite me for an interview! I didn't really expect that my appeal would be successful and I was so happy about that.

Nevertheless, I was aware that the interview wouldn't be easy. In some ways, the interview is like the MOSLER exam, which had always been my weak point throughout my MBBS course. I decided that I would just do my best in the interview, and if I am still not successful, I would just accept the outcome gracefully. To prepare for the interview, I looked up the internet for common interview questions for lecturer jobs. I also did some revision for my medical knowledge, just in case I get tested on them during the interview.

My interview was held online through Zoom at 1:45PM on 25 September 2020. Coincidentally, I got interviewed by the same lecturer who interviewed me when I was applying to study MBBS at NUMed back in June 2014. The interview wasn't too difficult and most of the questions were those that I had expected. It lasted for about 20 minutes. I felt that I performed reasonably well in the interview, but I wasn't sure if it was sufficient for me to get the Teaching Fellow post. I estimated that my chances of success was about 50%. 

At 5PM on that day, NUMed sent me an email to inform that they had offered me the 9-month Teaching Fellow post. I was overjoyed. Getting the Teaching Fellow post had been my dream for quite some time, and now it has finally come true! This is another great life event for me after I successfully completed the MBBS course in the previous month. However, the imperfection is that a few of my close friends who applied for the Teaching Fellow post weren't successful in the interview. In my opinion, they are definitely qualified for the Teaching Fellow job and NUMed really should have offered them the post.

As the Teaching Fellow job would begin in just a week time, I had to arrange for my accommodation urgently. Unlike students, Teaching Fellows are unable to apply for the NUMed managed accommodation. After considering a few places for the accommodation, I chose EcoNest as it's cheaper and I really like the place after having stayed there for the past 2 years. I travelled to Johor Bahru and moved into EcoNest on 29 September 2020. My new unit is really nice, and it's located at Tower A of EcoNest. Interestingly, I stayed at Tower C during my first year of Stage 5 and at Tower B during my repeat year of Stage 5, thus enabling me to experience all three towers of EcoNest.

On 30 September 2020, I and the other Teaching Fellows met one of the lecturers at NUMed for the Year 3 teaching induction. On 1 October 2020, I started the NUMed Teaching Fellow job officially. The first week just consisted of some induction sessions. On 2 October 2020, I went to Hospital Sultan Ismail to help coordinate the first hospital visit of the Year 3 students, but I wasn't involved in any teaching. My teaching began on the week starting from 5 October 2020. On that week, I delivered teaching for spirometry as well as spine and knee orthopaedics. My students are quite satisfied with my teaching.

Now, I can say that I enjoy my Teaching Fellow job a lot. I definitely made the right decision to apply for it, and I am so grateful that I succeeded in the application. I look forward to all the fun and challenges that lies ahead.

You can view my personal statement here:

https://www.daniellimjj.com/2022/09/teaching-fellow-lecturer-cv-and.html

You can read about my experience working as a Teaching Fellow here:

https://www.daniellimjj.com/2021/08/my-teaching-fellowship-at-numed.html

My 2020 summer break

In 2020, I have 9 weeks of summer break between 30 July 2020 and 1 October 2020, after the end of Stage 5 (2019/2020) of my MBBS course at NUMed. Many interesting events happened during the summer break. Here, I am going to write about those events.

My summer break is shorter this year compared to the previous year. This is also the last long break in my life.

30 July 2020 (Thursday):

- Completed the Stage 5 (2019/2020) HBP Professionalism Assessment

- Took photographs with my friends

- Had lunch with my friends at Tang Ren, EcoBotanic

1 August 2020 (Saturday):

- Had lunch at Restoran Hua Mui, EcoBotanic

3 August 2020 (Monday):

- Watched Fast and Furious: Hobbs and Shaw online

4 August 2020 (Tuesday):

- Went swimming in the swimming pool at EcoNest

- Had dinner with my friends at K Fry, Johor Bahru

6 August 2020 (Thursday):

- Passed Stage 5 (2019/2020) MBBS successfully

- Scored 90.8% in the WriSkE and 75.5% in the SBA

- Scored 14/18, 11/18, 12/18, 11/18 and 13/18 for the 5 domains in the End of Stage MOSLER

7 August 2020 (Friday):

- Had dinner with my friend at Chatri Signature Thai Restaurant

10 August 2020 (Monday):

- Received my NUMed MBBS transcript

11 August 2020 (Tuesday):

- Went to NUMed to print some documents and take photographs

- Had dinner at Spiced Mala Hotpot, Bukit Indah

12 August 2020 (Wednesday):

- Moved out of EcoNest

- Went back to Subang Jaya

- Had dinner at Thai Moment

13 August 2020 (Thursday):

- Had dinner at Bliss 33 Café

14 August 2020 (Friday):

- Had dinner at Pangkor Curry Fish Head Restaurant

15 August 2020 (Saturday):

- Had lunch at Bao Xiang Bak Kut Teh, Main Place Mall

- Had dinner at Logenhaus Restaurant

16 August 2020 (Sunday):

- Had dinner at Gangwan Restaurant

17 August 2020 (Monday):

- Had lunch at Uncle Don's

18 August 2020 (Tuesday):

- Received my Dean's Statement and Dean's letter from NUMed

- Had dinner at Chili's, Sunway Pyramid

19 August 2020 (Wednesday):

- Had lunch at Auntie Lora Kopitiam

- Had dinner at Nihonkai Japanese Restaurant

20 August 2020 (Thursday):

- Went back to Kulim

- Had lunch at Khoon Wah Curry Mee, Jawi

21 August 2020 (Friday):

- Went to Minat Supermarket

23 August 2020 (Sunday):

- Had lunch with my friend at Kuan Nan Food Court

- Went shopping with my friend at Sunway Carnival Mall

24 August 2020 (Monday):

- Received my NUMed MBBS degree

27 August 2020 (Thursday):

- Submitted UKFP Eligibility application on Oriel

28 August 2020 (Friday):

- My 2nd Clash of Clans account upgraded to TH12

30 August 2020 (Sunday):

- Went to my secondary school to have my MBBS degree, MBBS transcript and other documents certified

- Submitted application for MMC Provisional Registration Eligibility Letter on MeRITS

1 September 2020 (Tuesday):

- Went to AEON Mall, Bukit Mertajam

2 September 2020 (Wednesday):

- My 1st Clash of Clans account upgraded to TH13

- Had lunch with my friend at 无辣不欢

4 September 2020 (Friday):

- Had dinner at Legend Restaurant

5 September 2020 (Saturday):

- Returned to Subang Jaya

7 September 2020 (Monday):

- Had lunch at Nyonya Cendol Café

8 September 2020 (Tuesday):

- Had dinner at K Fry, Sunway Pyramid

9 September 2020 (Wednesday):

- Upgraded my Pixel 2 phone to Android 11

- Had dinner at The Ship with my family

10 September 2020 (Thursday):

- Had lunch at Ookii Ki

- NUMed opened the application for the teaching fellow position

- Had dinner at Texas Chicken, Sunway Pyramid

- Watched Tenet at TGV Cinema, Sunway Pyramid

11 September 2020 (Friday):

- Began writing my personal statement and curriculum vitae for the NUMed teaching fellow position

12 September 2020 (Saturday):

- Had dinner at Restoran Yuk Ming

- Visited SS2 Selera Malam and had coconut water

- 100% of my Taylor's College group successfully graduated from university

14 September 2020 (Monday):

- Had dinner at Kim Gary, Sunway Pyramid

15 September 2020 (Tuesday):

- Ordered lunch from Santan ASEAN

- Watched the launch of iPad Air 4, iPad 8, Apple Watch 6 and Apple Watch SE online

16 September 2020 (Wednesday):

- Had dinner at Esquire Kitchen, Subang Parade with my family

- Submitted my personal statement and curriculum vitae for the NUMed teaching fellow position

17 September 2020 (Thursday):

- Upgraded my iPad Air 3 to iPadOS 14

- Had dinner at Restoran Sun Hin Loong

18 September 2020 (Friday):

- Had dinner at Peppercorn Café

19 September 2020 (Saturday):

- Had lunch at Wild Basil, AEON BiG

- Had dinner at Restoran Weng Soon Jaya

20 September 2020 (Sunday):

- Ordered lunch from Cor Blimey

21 September 2020 (Monday):

- Received my Provisional Registration Eligibility Letter from MMC

- My UKFP Eligibility application was approved

22 September 2020 (Tuesday):

- Submitted application for a house officer post on SPA8i

- Had Ben and Jerry's ice-cream at Sunway Pyramid

23 September 2020 (Wednesday):

- Got shortlisted for interview for the NUMed teaching fellow position

- Had dinner at Restoran Waneeda Tomyam

- Bought mooncakes at Sunway Giza Mall

24 September 2020 (Thursday):

- Spent a night at my house in Kota Kemuning

25 September 2020 (Friday):

- Attended online interview for the NUMed teaching fellow position

- Got offered the NUMed teaching fellow position successfully

26 September 2020 (Saturday):

- Had lunch at Taiping Thiam Kee Noodle House

- Went back to Kulim for one night

- Had pancakes at Insadunia Food Court

27 September 2020 (Sunday):

- Returned to Subang Jaya

- Had dinner at Fatty Crab Restaurant

28 September 2020 (Monday):

- Had breakfast at Restoran Jin Xuan, USJ Taipan

- Registered as a voter on MySPR Daftar

- Confirmed accommodation at EcoNest for 2020/2021

- Had dinner at Manhattan Fish Market, Subang Parade

29 September 2020 (Tuesday):

- Returned to Johor Bahru

- Moved into EcoNest

30 September 2020 (Wednesday):

- Had lunch at Restoran Hua Mui, EcoBotanic

- Met one of my lecturers

- Had dinner at Spiced Mala Hotpot, Bukit Indah

1 October 2020 (Thursday):

- Began working as a teaching fellow at NUMed

If you find this story interesting, you may want to read these too:

https://www.daniellimjj.com/2019/08/my-2019-summer-break.html

https://www.daniellimjj.com/2021/09/my-2021-summer-break.html

TL - My close friend?

There's this one guy, I will refer to him as TL in this post. Many people in NUMed think that he is my close friend. As a matter of fact, I have never been really close to him, and I have stopped being friends with him for quite some time.

During Stage 1 and Stage 2 of MBBS, occasionally TL would approach me in the NUMed library to ask questions about the lecture materials. That was how I first knew him, and I was quite willing to help him every time. At that time, I had the impression that he is a really hardworking person.

During Stage 3 FoCP, I wasn't in the same group with TL, but both our groups were posted to Batu Pahat for several weeks. Therefore, I could interact with him more and know him better as a person. I realised that he is so different from what I thought of him previously. TL is actually a playboy who isn't serious with anything. I started having a negative impression towards him.

Once, I found out that TL was using the lavatory at the hospital without closing the door and I confronted him about it. However, he insisted there was nothing wrong about that. He also took revenge by taking random pictures of me and showing it to everyone. That strained the relationship between us, and I distanced myself from him.

Later, I was placed in the same group with TL for the LTC rotation. I wasn't happy about that, but no group change was allowed for LTC. Even though I didn't like him in the beginning, I became quite close to him as time went on. I started getting influenced by TL, I became less serious with my studies. At that time, everyone in NUMed started associating the two of us as close friends.

In February 2017, it was the LTC MOSLER assessment. I failed it as I didn't study enough, but TL somehow managed to pass it despite studying much less than me. He even said arrogantly "Of course I pass the MOSLER. Who even fails it?" I was really unhappy about that. After my failure in the LTC MOSLER, I decided that I must study well for my next rotations.

For the PC rotation, I was no longer in the same group with TL. Everyone in my PC group was so unlike him, they were really serious people. They motivated me to study well, enabling me to pass the PC MOSLER assessment. I had a really great experience with them and I loved that group so much.

After PC, it was the MH rotation. I again wasn't in the same group with TL. Just like PC, I had a great experience with my MH group. At that point, I realised that it's so much better for me to not be in the same group with TL. The time I had with my PC and MH groups was so much more enjoyable compared to the time with him. I started to stay away from him.

For the following WH and CH rotations, I was once again to be placed in the same group with TL. I really didn't like that, so I requested for a group change. My request for the CH rotation was approved easily. However, the WH lecturer wasn't happy to let me switch to another group. It was only after a long talk that he reluctantly approved my request. My experience with my new WH and CH groups was surely great. During that time, I had little contact with TL.

In July 2017, it was the final exam for Stage 3. I managed to pass it, albeit by a narrow margin, while TL failed it. I surely studied much more compared to him, and that did make a real difference in the end, which felt so satisfying. He was supposed to repeat Stage 3, and I still offered him some words of encouragement for that.

However in September 2017, NUMed declared the July exam invalid due to a security breach, requiring everyone to resit for the exam. In the end, both TL and me passed the resit exam. TL didn't have to repeat Stage 3 and could proceed directly to Stage 4, despite having failed the July exam. He really was very lucky!

During semester 1 of Stage 4, I wasn't in the same group with TL and I had little contact with him. After going through the experience of resitting the Stage 3 final exam, I became much more enthusiastic with my studies during Stage 4. On the other hand, TL hadn't changed, he still wasn't serious with his studies.

In December 2017, it was the Stage 4 exam and I was able to pass it easily. TL told me that he passed the exam as well. However, he cancelled his plans to do his SSC 3 and Electives in UK, and he asked for my advice in search for an easy SSC with a lot of free time, which made me suspect that he might have failed the exam.

For SSC 2, we had to submit a poster. Hours before the submission deadline, TL told me that he had just started doing his poster and asked for my guidance. I had already submitted my poster a few days earlier and was really free at that time, so I spent that morning helping him. In the end, he completed the poster just in time for the deadline. At that time, TL finally told me that he actually failed the Stage 4 exam and he was lying about it previously.

I didn't blame him for the lie as I could understand his feelings. As Stage 4 was my strong year, I was very willing to offer help to all those who didn't pass the exam. TL would phone me occasionally to ask for advice regarding the Stage 4 resit exam, and I tried my best to help him. That brought me closer to him. In the end, TL successfully passed the resit exam in August 2018 and could proceed to Stage 5.

During Stage 5, I again wasn't in the same group with TL. He continued to phone me occasionally, mostly to talk about his personal problems. For some reasons, he didn't like sending messages and he usually contacted me through phone calls. Initially, I was fine with that. As time went on, I started finding him a bit annoying, so I would just ignore his calls sometimes.

Apart from me, TL also phoned a few other friends quite often. They too found him annoying and eventually they made it clear to him that they no longer wished to talk about his personal problems. However, I still didn't want to abandon him at that time. Consequently, I became the only person TL was close to.

In February 2019, I had a tragedy which led to a huge crisis. I got backstabbed by some of the people in my group. Thankfully, a few of my close friends stood with me and supported me during the crisis, and TL was one of them. TL was unable to do anything to help with the crisis, and he also lacked the communication skills to console me. However, I felt that at least he was sincere in offering me support and I really appreciated it. That brought us even closer.

The final exams for Stage 5 was in June 2019. It turned out that both me and TL failed it and had to repeat the entire Stage 5. TL was so glad to have me as a company for the repeat year, but I didn't feel the same. Although I was quite close to him, the fact that he isn't serious with the studies made me not want to mix with him too much.

TL wanted to stay with me during the repeat year. As no more single room was available at EcoNest by the time he applied for it, he proposed that we rent a unit together elsewhere. I refused as I definitely wanted to stay at EcoNest. Later, TL's mother phoned me, telling me that she managed to privately rent a unit at EcoNest for him. She offered to let me stay in his unit for only RM3000 for the whole year.

While that may seem to be a good deal, I didn't really like the idea of staying with TL, and his unit also lacked the excellent facilities found in the units managed by NUMed. Therefore, I declined the offer. TL and his mother were a bit upset about that. Realising that I wasn't so friendly to him, he started getting close to another guy who was also repeating Stage 5.

As TL was really embarrassed about having to repeat Stage 5, he wanted to sit in the last row of the lecture theatre during the induction day of the repeat year, and he asked me to sit beside him. However, my thoughts was so different from him. I didn't feel embarrassed at all, and I chose to sit in the first row of the lecture theatre so that I could meet new people in the new batch. I definitely refused to sit with TL in the last row, so he sat with the other guy.

It turned out that I was placed in the same group with TL for ESR. He promised me that he would change his old habits and be really serious with the studies during the repeat year, as he was clearly aware that he would drop out if he fails again. I was skeptical of that, but I gave him the benefit of doubt. As we both were staying at EcoNest, I carpooled with TL when travelling to the hospital every day.

I was really interested to make new friends in the new batch. However, I am a shy person and I found it difficult to start a conversation with them unless they talked to me first. Therefore, in the beginning I only mixed with TL. He too really liked to mix with me. At that time, it seemed that TL was indeed a changed person. He paid good attention during classes and he often asked the lecturers questions whenever he wasn't sure of anything. That made me more comfortable to mix with him.

On 18 September 2019, TL went for lunch with a few students in the new batch after the WH MOSLER. I couldn't join them as my MOSLER was on the following day. TL then told me that they were gossiping about me during the lunch, but he refused to tell me what they were gossiping about. Instead, he kept teasing me by saying that their gossiping indicated that I had failed to gain acceptance in the new batch. I was quite upset with him over that.

One day during the CH rotation, I carpooled with TL to the hospital as usual. I was the one driving, and I parked my car near the back entrance. When we were leaving, it was raining heavily. TL said that he couldn't get wet as he would fall sick easily. Therefore, he wanted me to get to the car myself and then drive to the hospital lobby to pick him up. I agreed with his request, but in return, I wanted him to walk with me up until the back entrance.

However, TL refused to follow me to the back entrance no matter what, even though he didn't have to get wet for that. Yet, he insisted that I do what he wanted me to do. I warned him that I could just leave him at the hospital and drive home myself, but he said he would take revenge on me if I did that. As I didn't want to create an enemy at that time, I relented in the end.

I am very willing to offer help to my friends in the new batch whenever they don't understand a particular topic. At that time, whenever TL found out that I was teaching them, he would interrupt it and then ask me to repeat to him everything that I had taught them. TL had the thinking that he was more entitled than anyone else to be taught by me. I was really annoyed with that, so I became quite unwilling to teach him anything.

During the following MH rotation, there were several occasions where the lecturer teamed me up with someone other than TL in my group. As a result, I became quite close to them. I realised that mixing with them is so much more enjoyable than mixing with TL. I even started feeling that the time I spent with him is so meaningless and is just a waste of time. My group mates could also see that he was taking advantage of me.

NUMed reallocated everyone to different groups for the PC rotation. Much to my delight, I was no longer in the same group with TL. I had a very good relationship with my PC group mates, giving me a great experience for the PC rotation. I hoped that I wouldn't be in the same group with TL again in the future.

In November 2019, the group list for the HBP next semester was released. It was largely the same as the ESR group list, so I was once again in the same group with TL. NUMed released it so early in order to give students who wanted to swap groups the opportunity to do so. I immediately seized the opportunity to switch to a different group. One of my friend agreed to swap groups with me, enabling me to switch to the 26-30 group for HBP.

TL wasn't quite happy about that. I made it clear to him that I would be sticking with my new group and I challenged him to swap groups with another student if he really wanted to be in the same group with me. Out of my expectation, TL was able to get someone to swap groups with him, enabling him to join my new group. However, I still decided to stay in the 26-30 group instead of returning to my previous group, because I wanted to make new friends.

For the P4P rotation, all sessions were held at the NUMed campus, involving all students in my group as well as 2 other groups. I had plenty of opportunities to get to know and interact with everyone in all 3 groups. At that time, I had gotten quite close to them and I was no longer shy. Therefore, I surely didn't want to mix with TL anymore. However, he kept trying to stick to me.

One day, TL phoned me and I foolishly answered the call. He said that he wanted to have lunch with me at a burger shop near EcoNest. At that time, I had to go to a bank in Bukit Indah to do something important. However, he simply told me to do it on another day and insisted that I have lunch with him on that day. TL was really annoying and he kept telling me not to end the call. I refused to give in and he eventually gave up after talking for more than 20 minutes.

On the following week, a new McDonald's outlet was open near NUMed. After class on one day, I wanted to go try it for the first time. As soon as I drove out of the NUMed campus, I received a phone call from TL and I just rejected it. However, I realised that he was just behind me in his car. TL then tailgated me, forcing me to stop my car by the roadside. As expected, he again wanted me to have lunch with him.

I said that I wouldn't mind going to the burger shop near EcoNest with him. However, TL refused to go there as he just went there on the previous day. Instead, he wanted to go to a fish head noodle restaurant. I really didn't feel like having fish head noodle at that time as I wanted to have burgers instead, but he kept insisting on it. I got really annoyed with him. Eventually, he suggested going to Black Coffee for lunch and I reluctantly agreed.

During the lunch, I told TL that I would once again switch to another group for HBP if he continues to annoy me. As he really wanted to be in the same group with me, he got panicked after hearing what I said. He then told me that he would block me on all social media if I were to talk about switching groups again. I bluntly replied him "I don't give a damn about that."

It's so clear that TL isn't sincere in being friends with me. He liked to stick to me so much simply because I was too nice to him and he could take advantage of me. At that time, I decided that I will not let that keep happening and I was prepared to stop being friends with TL anytime. I had learnt from the February 2019 tragedy that fake friends are not worth having. Luckily, I didn't agree to stay with him in his unit!

At the beginning of HBP, I still carpooled with TL when travelling to the hospital every day. However, unlike the previous semester, he now had the habit of driving quite recklessly at times, which made me quite scared. Knowing I was scared of that, TL threatened me that he would purposely drive recklessly whenever I refused to do what he wanted me to do.

On 22 January 2020, TL wanted me to have lunch with him at a restaurant quite a distance from the hospital after our hospital session ended. I was quite busy preparing for the PSA exam at that time so I didn't want to waste time. He reassured me that going to that restaurant wouldn't take a lot of time, so I agreed to follow him there. However, that restaurant was closed. Although several other restaurants at that place were open, he didn't like them.

Instead, he wanted to go to another faraway restaurant and I had to follow along as he was the one driving. I got really upset because that would waste a lot of time. I told TL in a really serious tone that we should stop carpooling if he wants to keep wasting my time and that I would be very happy to get down of his car right away and return home by Grab. Eventually, he reluctantly agreed to have lunch at one of the restaurants nearby.

On 28 January 2020, TL suddenly reopened my old wounds by bringing up my February 2019 tragedy. Despite supporting me previously, he now said that those people who backstabbed me at that time had done nothing wrong and that I should just accept the truth that they were much more influential compared to me. Since then, I stopped carpooling with TL entirely.

At that time, I bought some Chinese New Year cards to be given to my close friends in NUMed. TL definitely wasn't among those I gave the cards to. After seeing the cards I had given to my friends, TL approached me and asked "Where's my card?", to which I replied bluntly "There's none. I never intended to give you one."

I decided to move to another group for HBP rotations 2 and 3 because I really didn't want to be in the same group with TL. My friends in the 36-39 group agreed to let me join their group. However, I have a really good relationship with everyone else in my 26-30 group, so my decision to switch groups was a difficult one. I explained my decision to them and emphasised that I had absolutely no issues with them. They were very understanding.

However, NUMed told me that I couldn't switch groups for rotation 2 as it was too late to make a change. Therefore, I remained in the 26-30 group for rotation 2. Meanwhile, they said that they would consider my request to switch to the 36-39 group for rotation 3 and that I would be informed of the outcome later on.

In the following weeks, I occasionally went for lunch with my 26-30 group and I really enjoyed it. TL joined every time and I mostly ignored him. On one occasion, our lecturer offered us an extra teaching session, so my group had a discussion regarding the date and time for that. TL kept saying that the extra session mustn't be held between Friday and Monday as he would be back in his hometown. However, we couldn't find any other suitable time.

Then, I said that since he had been returning to his hometown every single week, he should just skip it for once. TL replied rudely "I already bought my flight ticket. Are you gonna pay for it?" I made it clear to TL that there were timetabled sessions on Friday, Sunday and Monday, so by returning to his hometown at that time, he was actually on an unauthorised absence and I could make a report to NUMed anytime. In the end though, my group unanimously agreed on not having the extra session.

On the week starting from 7 March 2020, my group was posted to Kluang. I followed one of my friend in my group to Kluang, and TL followed along too. I was so glad that I didn't have to stay in the same room with TL at the Kluang hotel as he chose to book his own room. In Kluang, I had a really great time with my group, we went for lunch and dinner together almost every day. Just like previously, I mostly ignored TL.

Late at night on 9 March 2020, TL suddenly said that he had a personal emergency and asked my friend to send him back to Johor Bahru immediately. He wouldn't tell what happened exactly, but I thought it was a genuine emergency. My group had made great plans for the next 2 days in Kluang, and all of it got disrupted because of that.

After the great experience at Kluang, I felt really attached to my 26-30 group (with the exception of TL). As a result, I found it really difficult to separate with them for the next rotation. NUMed still hadn't informed me the outcome of my request to switch groups for rotation 3. After thinking about it carefully, I decided that I no longer wanted to switch to the 36-39 group.

On 14 March 2020, TL finally told me about his personal emergency in Kluang. What happened was that his hotel room was haunted! I was furious to know that. Just because of something so silly like that, TL went to the extent of asking my friend to send him back to Johor Bahru so late at night. This showed how selfish and unreasonable he is! His presence in my repeat year of Stage 5 is really a nuisance.

My group was supposed to go to Kluang once more on the following week. TL definitely wouldn't want to go there again. Without him, I surely would have an even better week at Kluang with my group, and I was looking forward to that so much. Unfortunately, later on that day NUMed informed us that they had suspended all clinical placements due to the rapidly worsening Covid-19 situation. As a result, my group wouldn't be going to Kluang anymore.

Just as I was feeling really sad about missing a great week at Kluang, I received another bad news. It turned out that one of the patients my group had close contact with at Kluang hospital on 10 March 2020 had just been tested positive for Covid-19! Consequently, we had to be placed under home quarantine until 24 March 2020.

As TL had left Kluang before 10 March 2020, he could escape the home quarantine. My friend who sent him back also escaped the home quarantine, but that was merely a coincidence so TL deserved no credit for that. TL messaged me to ask about my home quarantine. However, he clearly wasn't asking out of concern of my situation, instead he was just trying to make sure that the home quarantine wouldn't affect him. I refused to reply to his message.

By the time our home quarantine ended, the Movement Control Order (MCO) had been implemented in Malaysia. NUMed had to cancel all campus teaching in addition to clinical placements. I couldn't meet anyone in NUMed, including TL. At that time, I decided to stop being friends with TL completely. I certainly wouldn't want to have any form of contact with him.

In April 2020, NUMed started conducting online classes for rotation 3. NUMed kept me in the 26-30 group for that, which was what I wanted. I was really glad to be able to meet and interact with my group during the online classes as I hadn't seen them for quite some time. Meanwhile, I completely ignored TL. He once sent me a bad joke about the Covid-19, but I never replied to that.

In July 2020, NUMed provided 2 weeks of campus teaching just before the final exams. For that 2 weeks, I was to be placed in the same group with TL but not with the rest of my 26-30 group, which was really unfortunate. Luckily, I could find someone to swap groups with me. TL phoned me twice at that time, most probably to ask about my group switch, but I refused to answer the call. I switched to the 36-39 group, and I had a great experience with them.

Just before the final results was released, TL blocked me on all social media. In the end, both of us passed the final exams and successfully graduated from NUMed with an MBBS degree. TL never contacted me again and that's surely a good thing. I definitely won't be friends with him ever again!